Healing

You hear the tried and true statement that, "time heals all wounds."  I say that its tried and true because I think that over time, our minds have a way of subsiding the pain.  Whether it's grief from loss, pain from an injury or whatever else tortures your soul.  Over time, the pain doesn't necessarily go away.  What changes is how you feel it.

This year on June 26th marks 10 years since the death of my best friend.  She was 17 years old.  Even now that number seems so profound to me.  So sad and tragically short.  Years have gone by and I still think of her face or her laughter.  Her voice is a little fuzzy and that makes me sad, but I'm so thankful I have the few memories I do.

This morning on my drive to work, it occurred to me that my child, this small, tiny being I'm growing, will be born in the month of June. Technically my due date is June 17th, but both of my sister's sons were a week to two weeks late.  I am as adamant as she was about not being induced unless medically necessary.  So there is a distinct possibility that the baby could arrive around or very close to the anniversary of Brandy's death.   I have conflicting emotions about that.

Its taken several years for me to find a good place on that date every year.  Several years where I didn't want to bury down in a hole until June 27th rolled around. And maybe, just maybe if this baby does arrive on that date or around that date.  Maybe its the final piece of healing that I need.  Maybe its the final piece of healing our mutual friends need.  I know that one in particular has never fully accepted her death and deals with that conflict a lot these days.  I hope that we can find peace.