Working, pumping etc

I have started and stopped this post I can't tell you how many times.  Being a work mom isn't easy.  But the mass majority of the mothers out there know that already.  I knew that going into motherhood that it wouldn't be easy.  However, I knew that I wanted to keep working.  I'm sure if my husband and I pinched pennies hard enough, I could stay home to be with Charlie as she grows.  There's a part of me that would love to be there for those firsts she'll experience.  However, there's another part of me that realizes I'm not quite the SAHM type.  Perhaps if we lived in a more populated area there were more SAHM and mommy groups to join, it wouldn't be so bad.  That isn't the case though and there's no sense dwelling on what isn't.  

I love going to work.  I enjoy my job and the people I work with.  I have a good time while I'm at work.  The part that sucks about being a working mom is the time away from Charlie.  In the evenings, we get home with enough time to eat, bath and bed. There isn't a lot of play time, at least not for mama and baby.  Daddy does bath time since I get to feed her so I usually get the sleepy baby versus the giggles.  I savor the weekends though and enjoy the time she and I do have as much as possible. 

Along with being a working mom,  I am a breastfeeding mother as well.  So during my 8 hour work days I have to pump 3 times a day to keep my milk supply up and provide milk for my baby while she's in the care of others.  The first week I was back at work, I loathed pumping.  I hated my little closet I got stuck in for 20 minutes 3 times a day.  I hated my boobs leaking if I didn't make it to pump in time.  I hated getting into the middle of something and realizing I needed to go pump.  There are parts to be washed every day, bottles and other items to be packed and ready for the following day.  I admit there was fleeting thoughts of how easy it would be to switch to formula.  

But as the days wore on, I never quit.  I haven't quit and I don't plan to.  The whole pumping enough to keep up with Charlie's demand leaves me quite anxious most of the time.  I think about breast milk entirely too much if I'm being honest.  But so far, Charlie has been fed breast milk exclusively.  Although I toy with the idea of supplementing a little bit with formula I always talk myself out of it.  Right now, week to week I'm making enough to keep up and even though that includes pumping before work and before bed, it's still enough.  There may not be date nights or girls night all that much in the next 3 months but that's okay.  

two little girls

I have so many posts I want to get down but I find my mind jumbled lately.  Going back to work and parenting, keeping a house a home has definitely kept me moving.

But something that has been weighing heavy on my mind lately is baby number two.  I have no idea why my heart keeps thinking about the next when the first hasn't even made it to half a year yet.  Regardless of the logic, or lack there of, when I'm nursing Charlie or playing I'm already envisioning an older Charlie running around the yard with a little sister.   A little brother would be fine too but there's definitely a little girl in these day dreams I've been having.  I don't know that I would call it seeing into the future so to speak, but I have my own version of gut instinct.  I felt pretty certain that Charlie was a girl from the get go.  I also knew I wouldn't be pregnant past 38 weeks. I gave birth at 38 weeks and one day.  I had no science to back me up, no dreams of what was to come.  I simply just felt that was how it would go.

So when I sit here and can feel so strongly about baby number two being a girl, I have trouble talking myself out of it.  I have plans for the nursery already and a name I love.  I have to laugh because as I approached the subject with the husband I was anxious for his response.  For a long time Steve has only ever wanted one child.  I don't know his reasoning other than financial.  But today, when I asked him if he liked a particular little girl's name, he smiled all the way to his eyes and just said he didn't know.  Well I know my husband and I see that little girl in our lives a few years from now.   I look forward to my first born having a little sister.  I love the idea of these girls growing up together, helping each other, fighting with and for one another - oh yes,  I look forward to it all.

So until we meet, I'll keep her in my heart

Charlie 3 Months

At 3 months this little girl is really starting to find herself.  And by herself, I mean her hands especially that damn thumb.   -_- Mama is not amused.  Below are my iPhone notes that I've taken through out the past month of our lives with little Miss C and its crazy how much she's grown and changed. 

Excuse the grumpy faces.  She wasn't having it for her pictures that night. 

         

                        


So at 3 months Charlie is

• . . .cooing more and more.  She will 'talk" with you if you sit with her face to face.  She smiles a lot.  No giggles yet but I'm anxiously awaiting those.  Baby giggles are the best.  
• . . .getting better and better with head control.  If you're sitting still with her on your lap she maintains a straight posture pretty well.  When standing and moving, she's still a little weeble wobbly. 
• . . .growing! My goodness my little peanut is not little anymore. Too long to lay across my lap horizontal. She can now push off or kick at the arm of the rocking chair as we nurse.
• . . .still fed exclusively breast milk. Takes bottle or boob without too much fuss. She seems to prefer the boob. She will make herself gag and choke with a bottle when you first give it to her but eventually will eat from it. 
• . . .started transitioning to the crib. Not an easy battle. She loves to be snuggled in and the lounger gives her that feeling. So the wide open of the crib has been an adjustment. We started by taking morning nap time in the crib and have progressed to sleeping there at night. Sometimes she fusses and gives me troubles for about two hours but eventually she sleeps. Towards the end of month 3 C is sleeping in her crib full time, no troubles. 
• . . .sleeping 6 straight hours at night on occasion at the beginning of the month. Usually eats last between 8-10 and will sleep to 3-5. She will nap for me in the mornings from the last night wake up at 3-5 until about 9. Towards the end of my maternity leave she had started to only cat nap. Little 15-20 minute naps. So by the end of the day she would get tired and cranky, letting everyone know it.  However, at my sisters house and daycare she's taking an hour morning nap and then a big afternoon nap.  Towards the end of month three, she started sleeping 7-8 hours.  We introduced a night time routine this month.  Bath at 7:30, last nursing session and then bed.  So from 8-8:30 she'll sleep until 4 when mama comes in to wake her for that morning eat. 
• . . .rolling half way, both directions, although she favors rolling to her right.  We aren't quite to the point that she's doing a full flop over but she's definitely moving her body.  In fact towards the end of month 3 she has been scooching in her crib at night.  She starts out at one end of the crib and will scooch her hiney up to the top.  This child is constantly moving her body in whatever ways she can.  Its amazing to me because she wasn't much of a mover when I was pregnant or the first two months of life.  But now? She kicks and swings her arms and goes, goes, goes.  
• . . .seems to enjoy tummy time. She doesn't coo and aw about it but she doesn't scream either
• . . .this month what I eat doesn't seem to bother her tummy. The fussy, screaming fits have been very few and far between. Still using the probiotic daily.  
• . . .she's pretty systematic with nursing. It's every 2 hours during the day, for 10 minutes almost exactly on both sides. Night time she can go anywhere from 4 hours to 6 hours straight in between nursing sessions.  And as mentioned in the sleep section, the end of the month brought 7-8 hours in between the last nursing session of the night to the first one of the morning.  At the end of month three I returned to work.  She started out with my sister and now the time is split between Aunt Sara's house and day care.  She takes 3 bottles total while away from mama.  Usually 10-12 ounces. 
• . . .had her 2 month appointment during month 3. She was 23 inches long 10 lbs 13 oz
• . . .wearing 3 month clothing.  A few 0-3 month clothes fit but very, very few.   Size 2 in diapers.  Thankfully any diapers seem to work.  We can use Pampers, Huggies or Luvs. 
• . . . has found her hands.  Not in a way that she stares at them or really "found" them but that she sucks on her hands a lot.  Towards the end of the month she has found her thumb more and more, much to mama's disappointment.  I've been trying to replace the thumb with the binky as often as possible but it doesn't seem to be breaking the habit.  The hand sucking though occurs when she's drooling a lot and rubbing her gums with her knuckles.  We're pretty sure she's teething.  

Look how much she's grown!