Charlie 6 Months

At 6 months, our little peanut is still just that, a little peanut! 

- At her 6 month well check up Charlie weighed 13 lbs 14 ounces and is 25 3/4 inches long. She's in the 50th percentile for height, 13th percentile for weight and 18th percentile for head circumference. 
- Reaching up to touch mamas face while nursing. Really touching anyone's face is a new thing. Grabbing noses, hooking her fingers into other people's mouths etc.
- Finding the feet.  She's grabbing for them a lot more. By the end of month 6 she has definitely accomplished eating the feet on multiple occasions. Aka whenever she can.
- Her speaking abilities have progressed from excited screeches to monkey sounds. Ooh ooh and such noises. It's adorable.
- We practice trying to sit on her own a lot but no go yet. I don't think it will be long though. 
- When she rolls over onto her belly she's getting really strong in supporting her body with her arms. She's even started the nudging motions like she might get going soon?
- Hair! My baby has hair. Granted it's really fine and light colored but my goodness it's getting long. She still has the bald patch in the back along with this patch of dark black hair from when she was born.

- Baby giggles are contagious. And this kid smiles and giggles at anything, everything. This month there is very little that upsets her.
- Sleeping through the night has continued through most of this month. The last week before her 6 month birthday she was going to bed on her regular schedule and waking up at 11 to nurse and then play! Luckily for mama, I was off work that week for Thanksgiving so it wasn't too disruptive for our schedule. Napping goes really well some days and then there's cat naps on others.
- Still on breast milk. She has cereal in the mornings after her first bottle. Then half a jar of baby food at lunch and half a jar at dinner, along with her bottles and nursing sessions. The solids are definitely increasing.  She's still taking 4 ounces of breastmilk by bottles 4 times a day though and nursing twice with me in the evenings on weekdays.  We are trying to gradually wean her though.  So far, she thinks formula is for the birds.  The current plan is to buy every type of formula there is and see what agrees with her.  Otherwise known as whatever the baby will agree to.  At this point I'm just looking to eliminate one bottle of nursing for a month and then another bottle etc.  I want to gradually wean her down so that by the time she's getting to a year old, she's nursing once or twice and on formula almost full time.  
- Still pooping every few days but now that solids are in the picture it's awful. Breastfed baby poop was no big thing to me. I mean it was gross but it didn't bug me. Baby's poop after having solids in her diet is just plan gross. Gag.
- Still on Zantac twice a day but I'm debating phasing her off of it. She's definitely gained weight and at first it seemed like her script wasn't doing much but being home with her that week, she didn't seem to spit up or have any screaming issues at all. 

My Breastfeeding Story

I'm so excited to have my breastfeeding story featured on Julie's blog today, the Girl in the Red Shoes! Her series The Breastfeeding Diaries helped me tremendously through out my pregnancy and through my ups and downs with breastfeeding.  

I knew that I wanted to try breastfeeding, but I had myself pretty much convinced that it wouldn't work out for us.  In my group of family and friends I don't know anyone that was successful at breastfeeding.  It seemed so foreign and odd to me.  

                                              

​

Fortunately for myself and my daughter, Charlie, breastfeeding did work for us.  A quick trip down memory lane; Charlie was born two weeks early.  If you want the whole birth story, it's over on my blog, but the gist of it is she was born within 10 minutes of our arrival at the hospital.  The entire hospital staff was amazing.  My labor and delivery nurse was a rock star and she's the one that helped me with breastfeeding the most.  She asked if I wanted to and if I had taken any classes.  Funny thing about it, I was scheduled to take a breastfeeding class the following night.  Ya know, since I wasn't expecting baby girl to arrive for two more weeks.  Lucky for me, L&D nurse had 4 kids herself and had breastfed all of them.  Like I said, rock star.  

Our breastfeeding journey has been mostly without complications.  Unfortunately, my daughter does have silent reflux.  She spits up way more than she should with the occasional screaming session when it's bad.  Other than that, I have been very, very lucky with how breastfeeding, pumping/working have gone for me.  But what I really wanted to touch on were some of the subjects or thoughts that I never ran across in all my blog reading, research during pregnancy and even afterwards.  

My first thought about breastfeeding is that it's a huge sacrifice.  

It's a sacrifice for both parents but mostly for mom. Dad has to sacrifice the ability to feed baby. This can change as mom starts to pump and perhaps daddy can do a bottle a day.  But mostly it's a sacrifice for the mama. Baby is fussy or has a lot of gas? Mama needs to change her diet. Whether it's a simple fix as avoiding spicy foods or a major change as dropping dairy completely. Baby needs to eat every 2 hours? That's all you mom. Baby wakes in the middle of the night? Right again, mom, you're up. Mom returns to work and has to pump to supply for her baby.  It's a sacrifice of your body in the most amazing, extreme way possibly.

And although the first few weeks are painful, they're amazing. The cluster feeding is HARD and you'll want to throw in the towel. But don't. Because those only last for so long. Then you hit this honeymoon phase, where it's all just clicking. This is usually right before you return to work. The crappy part is, when you return to work it goes back to hard. Not the breastfeeding part, the figuring out how to continue breastfeeding and working.  

 Our first, at home, milk coma 

So since going back to work is the norm, there's the pumping while being a full time mom.  It is the most aggravating, annoying, rewarding task I've ever endured. Spoiler alert, you may not pump the number of ounces you need while at work. In fact, you may need to get up in the middle of the night or earlier in the morning to add in a pump session (while you watch your baby who sleeps through the night on the monitor). Only then do you (barely) have enough ounces for the day. Like I said, sacrifice.  And while we're talking about pumping, don't always follow the recommendations.  Follow your gut.  I was only pumping 20-30 minutes when I first came back to work and that certainly wasn't cutting it.  I simply thought my pump just wasn't the same as my baby and I wasn't able to empty out with it.  Wrong.  Now I pump 40-45 minutes to feel empty. And you should feel empty after you finish pumping.  That's how you signal your body to produce more. Play with your pump, push the let down button more than once and adjust the settings.  Find the right balance for you.  Also remember to eat.  And eat a lot.  I experienced a major decline in my already risky supply during a week that I just didn't feel hungry.  Once I got my appetite back, everything returned to normal. 

My breastfeeding tips to share it would be these two favorites. Because I'm so well endowed and my daughter is such a peanut, I have to hold my breast while I'm nursing. All of that careful preparation for my "nursing station" was not necessary. I can't reach a single item. Do not fear, you learn to adapt. For here is my secret - those trusty receiving blankets? Ball one up and stick it under the boob so you have a free hand. Another fabulous secret? Netflix and/or your DVR.  During our entire maternity leave, I would go downstairs to our living room for the middle of the night, early morning nursing time.  I'd watch one of my recorded shows while nursing.  Then once Charlie was satisfied, I'd lay her down on the couch beside me so I could pump.  All in all, it would take me about an hour to an hour and a half for this process.  

Every time she nurses, she sleeps... 

Breastfeeding in public is intimidating and scary.  At least it was/is for me.  I hate it.  I cringe when it is necessary.  After a while I've learned to adapt and find the right balance for myself and Charlie.  A lot of times, I found myself in the backseat of my car to nurse while out and about. As much as you prep for a nursing station in your house, prep for a nursing station in your car.  Find out where to plug in your phone that you can still reach it.  Where to sit that you can see the clock but still be able to nestle yourself down in so you're not completely visible to the windows.  And if you're in the market for a new car, may I recommend leather seating?  Baby spit up of your own milk is no joke.  When public breastfeeding was the only option, I'd recommend the Aden and Anais swaddling blankets.  Aden and Anais blankets are wonderful for covering up while nursing.  They're light weight and are plenty big enough.  Tie a knot in one corner, place the knotted end under your bra strap opposite of the side you're going to nurse on.  Then sling the blanket behind your neck and over the shoulder of the side you'll be nursing on.  Big cover, breathable for baby. 

Even if breastfeeding is going well, there's always the critics.  Perhaps its the type of person I am, but I have a bit of guilt over the fact that I was able and still am breastfeeding.  Several of my friends, family members have formula fed their babies.  And while that doesn't bother me a bit, it's the comments they make that bother me more.  Whether they realize it or not, they make me feel guilty for being able to breastfeed.  Most I think are trying to justify for themselves why it didn't work or they chose not to, rather than realize that they're hurting my feelings.  Just keep in mind that not only are there individuals that push the breastfeeding, there's always some on the other side of the fence too with their own opinions and everybody will let you know how they feel about it. 

               

 ​

I didn't expect to enjoy breastfeeding.  But I have so much.  My daughter is still exclusively fed breast milk via bottle or nursing as of 5 months.  Currently we're continuing day by day and slowly introducing solids.  Although it gives me some anxiety trying to figure out when the right time for us to wean or if my supply will keep up, I enjoy it more than I can say.  Because this little girl is growing, thriving on what my body can give her.  How cool is that? 

Charlie 5 Months

I can't believe this little girl has been with us for only 5 months. It seems odd, but the life before her is slightly forgotten.  Mostly forgotten, I guess.  Every now and then I yearn to be able to run errands alone or sleep in beyond 5 am without leaky boobs, but I wouldn't trade what we have for the world.  

So at 5 months Charlie is changing so much and every day.  Below is her 5 month bullet points

- Rolling over! At 4 months 1 week, she rolled over back to stomach! For a few weeks she's gotten so far but couldn't get her arm out from under her.  But on October 12th she finally got the whole way.
- Loves to blow raspberries.  She's so impressed with herself when she realizes the noise is her own. 
- Started Zantac twice a day.  The probiotic daily just wasn't cutting it.  Major improvement with the spit up.  
- Definitely uses her thumb a lot more for self soothing. In month 4 it was mainly when she went to sleep for the night. But now it's when she's upset in the car seat, her jumper, etc
- Still sleeping through the night. There was a small two week period that she chose to wake up at 2 am and threw mommy's whole schedule off balance. The majority of the time though she seems to be able to put herself back to sleep. Slept one night on the belly after she had rolled over in her sleep. Usually she's a side or back sleeper like mom and dad.
- Reaching, grabbing and holding has improved.
- Hate your car seat. Except in the mornings with daddy. Otherwise you fuss and get mad.
- Still breastfeeding but we've started to introduce solids. Mainly because she stole a French fry from mamas plate, devouring it before I even realized what happened. So she's had one french fry, oatmeal with b-milk and applesauce mixed together, banana mum mum's, sweet potato puffs
- This month Charlie decided she didn't care much for the right side anymore.  Poor righty.  She will nurse on the right for 3-5 minutes at most and then get so distracted she wouldn't latch back on.  So I would switch her to the left and she'll nurse like a champ for 15-20 minutes

- Trying so hard to sit up. She does what mama likes to call baby Pilates. She'll hold her head up and legs up, working those ab muscles like crazy.
- Bath time is still her favorite. It's amazing the transformation bath time does to her mood. She especially love when we wash the hair and run the water over her head. Daddy is still the primarily bath giver.
- Speaking of daddy, my goodness the love these two have for each other.  She smiles so big any time he comes into the room. And he melts.
- This month she has definitely started to react to us more. When I pick her up at daycare or when daddy's comes home from work, her face lights up.
- Distracted nursing. I could do with out this. She pops on and off because she can't handle not seeing every single thing going on. And if daddy's in the room? Forget it, she's done with mama.  
- Wearing size 3 diapers.... There was several days of blow outs and mama finally declared it was time. I may or may not have cried a little bit.
- Wearing 3-6 months or 6 months clothing. It depends on the brand.
- At Charlie's 4 month appointment on Oct 23rd she was 24 1/2 inches long and 12 pounds 13 ounces.

I'm not sure how, but I made a GIF..... ha! It cracks me up.

Breastfeeding

* Originally written June 16th 2014.  I want to document my actual thoughts.  So if/when I have another child I don't think that my journey with Charlie was a breeze.  Breastfeeding is in some ways easier than formula, but in others its a struggle and a big sacrifice. 


Days like today make me want to stop breast feeding. Things were going really smoothly until this weekend. For the most part she was nursing every 2-3 hours and for 10-15 minutes per side. Then came a stretch of 20 minutes each side and nursing every 3-4 hours. That was actually quite glorious. She's always favored the right side but she never denied nursing from the left. But lately, these last few days she's fought. For one, she waits until I have her crooked in my arm, boob exposed ready to go to put serious effort into pooping. This requires a tense body, scrunched face and screaming fits. I usually try to start her with the left side, realizing it's her least favorite and hoping it'll encourage her to eat just a little from the left before denying it completely. But in the last few days she fights me with the left so ferociously.

Today though was a bad day. Today was a day that I seriously thought I was losing my mind. I can't do the stay at home mom gig. No way.  I need social interaction. Today I didn't have any social interaction with people. And I can tell it has affected my mood. Add to it Charlie has decided that she only wants to nurse for 10 minutes on the right side and then an hour later nurse again. I can't get a thing done. I'm so tired. I'm frustrated and I'm near tears. No, I'm not near tears I'm full fledged teary eyed just typing this. I need a break. How sad is that? Two weeks in and I want a break from my daughter. My gosh, I'll win awards won't I?

Charlie 4 Months

During month 4, Charlie was up to; 

- Sleeps 12 hours at night on the weekends.  Weeknights its 7 pm to 5:45ish am, when Daddy gets her up and ready to go to Aunt Sara's house. 
   Ms C is down by 7 almost every single night.  If she gets to bed later than that, she usually wakes up in the middle of the night.  She has her bath at 6:30, followed by a bedtime nursing session with mama and then off to sleep. I am constantly amazed at how wonderfully easy this baby is.  I don't need to rock her, I don't need to sing or pat her butt.  She drifts off on her own.  The only conflict is that this routine is more of a set in stone type of thing than a guideline.  Baby girl will let you know when it's time for bath and she will demand immediate action.  
- Wearing 3-6 months clothes size 2 diapers
- Got her first cold! Poor girl lost her "voice" so her coo's and cries were more like frog croaks. Doctor appointment confirmed a viral infection. Thankfully she was on the mend quite quickly.
- At the doctor appointment she was 23.5 height and 11lbs 9 ounces.  Her 4 month appointment isn't until Oct 23rd when she'll be almost 5 months.
- Perfected her pout face and do really well sticking that lower lip out! It's often put away too quickly for mama to snap a photo for evidence.  I'm sure I'll have plenty more opportunities in the future 
- Loves watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse & Peppa the Pig
- First giggles occurred for Ma & Aunt Sara. Mama got to hear a few short giggles one evening but daddy is still anxiously awaiting.  
- Can roll side to side.  Haven't officially rolled from back to stomach yet or vice versa.  
- Through the night she usually turns an almost complete 180 degrees from where she was originally placed. And loses the covers almost immediately.  
- Exclusively fed breast milk.  She will take 4 bottles of 4 ounces during the day and nurses for me twice at night. 
- The pooping strike continued through month four.  She seemed to only be pooping once a week.  And when she did, it tended to be explosive and 2-3 diaper changes in a row.  There was never any hard tummy or crankiness on her part for it though.  
- Doesn't care for crowds.  Mama and Aunt Sara went to a large Consignment kids sale and I wore Charlie.  She did okay at first but as the crowd got bigger and the room got warmer, she was not having any of it.  Complete meltdown.  As soon as we were outside of the building, she settled almost immediately.  
- Just a little bit of cradle cap.  Solved pretty quickly with some baby oil and a little brushing of the scalp. 
- Grabbing at items more and more.  She has taken an interest in grabbing at my shirt or straps while nursing.  She likes to touch our faces and reach for anything she can get in her mouth.  
- Teething! The process is definitely started.  She gums whatever she can get into her mouth.  We've had a few nights of serious crying in pain incidents and she gets a little Tylenol to help. 
- Got her jumper from Toys R Us.  Although she is definitely interested in being able to stand up on her own and play with the items in front of her, the whole jumping concept isn't quite there yet.  She isn't tall enough to push her feet off the bottom yet.  
- For bottles, this month we discovered that Charlie does not like Dr Brown's bottles or the Tommee Tippee bottles.  Both that I bought specifically for her acid reflux troubles.  Also the more expensive brands, so mama is minorly thankful those are off the list of purchases.  She does prefer the Advent Air bottles.  Also marked for reflux.  She doesn't seem to choke and gag herself with these bottles like she did with the others.  And yes, my darling girl purposely gags herself.  She is definitely my kid.  Although she only gags when I give her a bottle, I'm sure because she knows I've got the goods in a better package. 

Month One through Month Four 

Working, pumping etc

I have started and stopped this post I can't tell you how many times.  Being a work mom isn't easy.  But the mass majority of the mothers out there know that already.  I knew that going into motherhood that it wouldn't be easy.  However, I knew that I wanted to keep working.  I'm sure if my husband and I pinched pennies hard enough, I could stay home to be with Charlie as she grows.  There's a part of me that would love to be there for those firsts she'll experience.  However, there's another part of me that realizes I'm not quite the SAHM type.  Perhaps if we lived in a more populated area there were more SAHM and mommy groups to join, it wouldn't be so bad.  That isn't the case though and there's no sense dwelling on what isn't.  

I love going to work.  I enjoy my job and the people I work with.  I have a good time while I'm at work.  The part that sucks about being a working mom is the time away from Charlie.  In the evenings, we get home with enough time to eat, bath and bed. There isn't a lot of play time, at least not for mama and baby.  Daddy does bath time since I get to feed her so I usually get the sleepy baby versus the giggles.  I savor the weekends though and enjoy the time she and I do have as much as possible. 

Along with being a working mom,  I am a breastfeeding mother as well.  So during my 8 hour work days I have to pump 3 times a day to keep my milk supply up and provide milk for my baby while she's in the care of others.  The first week I was back at work, I loathed pumping.  I hated my little closet I got stuck in for 20 minutes 3 times a day.  I hated my boobs leaking if I didn't make it to pump in time.  I hated getting into the middle of something and realizing I needed to go pump.  There are parts to be washed every day, bottles and other items to be packed and ready for the following day.  I admit there was fleeting thoughts of how easy it would be to switch to formula.  

But as the days wore on, I never quit.  I haven't quit and I don't plan to.  The whole pumping enough to keep up with Charlie's demand leaves me quite anxious most of the time.  I think about breast milk entirely too much if I'm being honest.  But so far, Charlie has been fed breast milk exclusively.  Although I toy with the idea of supplementing a little bit with formula I always talk myself out of it.  Right now, week to week I'm making enough to keep up and even though that includes pumping before work and before bed, it's still enough.  There may not be date nights or girls night all that much in the next 3 months but that's okay.  

two little girls

I have so many posts I want to get down but I find my mind jumbled lately.  Going back to work and parenting, keeping a house a home has definitely kept me moving.

But something that has been weighing heavy on my mind lately is baby number two.  I have no idea why my heart keeps thinking about the next when the first hasn't even made it to half a year yet.  Regardless of the logic, or lack there of, when I'm nursing Charlie or playing I'm already envisioning an older Charlie running around the yard with a little sister.   A little brother would be fine too but there's definitely a little girl in these day dreams I've been having.  I don't know that I would call it seeing into the future so to speak, but I have my own version of gut instinct.  I felt pretty certain that Charlie was a girl from the get go.  I also knew I wouldn't be pregnant past 38 weeks. I gave birth at 38 weeks and one day.  I had no science to back me up, no dreams of what was to come.  I simply just felt that was how it would go.

So when I sit here and can feel so strongly about baby number two being a girl, I have trouble talking myself out of it.  I have plans for the nursery already and a name I love.  I have to laugh because as I approached the subject with the husband I was anxious for his response.  For a long time Steve has only ever wanted one child.  I don't know his reasoning other than financial.  But today, when I asked him if he liked a particular little girl's name, he smiled all the way to his eyes and just said he didn't know.  Well I know my husband and I see that little girl in our lives a few years from now.   I look forward to my first born having a little sister.  I love the idea of these girls growing up together, helping each other, fighting with and for one another - oh yes,  I look forward to it all.

So until we meet, I'll keep her in my heart

Charlie 3 Months

At 3 months this little girl is really starting to find herself.  And by herself, I mean her hands especially that damn thumb.   -_- Mama is not amused.  Below are my iPhone notes that I've taken through out the past month of our lives with little Miss C and its crazy how much she's grown and changed. 

Excuse the grumpy faces.  She wasn't having it for her pictures that night. 

         

                        


So at 3 months Charlie is

• . . .cooing more and more.  She will 'talk" with you if you sit with her face to face.  She smiles a lot.  No giggles yet but I'm anxiously awaiting those.  Baby giggles are the best.  
• . . .getting better and better with head control.  If you're sitting still with her on your lap she maintains a straight posture pretty well.  When standing and moving, she's still a little weeble wobbly. 
• . . .growing! My goodness my little peanut is not little anymore. Too long to lay across my lap horizontal. She can now push off or kick at the arm of the rocking chair as we nurse.
• . . .still fed exclusively breast milk. Takes bottle or boob without too much fuss. She seems to prefer the boob. She will make herself gag and choke with a bottle when you first give it to her but eventually will eat from it. 
• . . .started transitioning to the crib. Not an easy battle. She loves to be snuggled in and the lounger gives her that feeling. So the wide open of the crib has been an adjustment. We started by taking morning nap time in the crib and have progressed to sleeping there at night. Sometimes she fusses and gives me troubles for about two hours but eventually she sleeps. Towards the end of month 3 C is sleeping in her crib full time, no troubles. 
• . . .sleeping 6 straight hours at night on occasion at the beginning of the month. Usually eats last between 8-10 and will sleep to 3-5. She will nap for me in the mornings from the last night wake up at 3-5 until about 9. Towards the end of my maternity leave she had started to only cat nap. Little 15-20 minute naps. So by the end of the day she would get tired and cranky, letting everyone know it.  However, at my sisters house and daycare she's taking an hour morning nap and then a big afternoon nap.  Towards the end of month three, she started sleeping 7-8 hours.  We introduced a night time routine this month.  Bath at 7:30, last nursing session and then bed.  So from 8-8:30 she'll sleep until 4 when mama comes in to wake her for that morning eat. 
• . . .rolling half way, both directions, although she favors rolling to her right.  We aren't quite to the point that she's doing a full flop over but she's definitely moving her body.  In fact towards the end of month 3 she has been scooching in her crib at night.  She starts out at one end of the crib and will scooch her hiney up to the top.  This child is constantly moving her body in whatever ways she can.  Its amazing to me because she wasn't much of a mover when I was pregnant or the first two months of life.  But now? She kicks and swings her arms and goes, goes, goes.  
• . . .seems to enjoy tummy time. She doesn't coo and aw about it but she doesn't scream either
• . . .this month what I eat doesn't seem to bother her tummy. The fussy, screaming fits have been very few and far between. Still using the probiotic daily.  
• . . .she's pretty systematic with nursing. It's every 2 hours during the day, for 10 minutes almost exactly on both sides. Night time she can go anywhere from 4 hours to 6 hours straight in between nursing sessions.  And as mentioned in the sleep section, the end of the month brought 7-8 hours in between the last nursing session of the night to the first one of the morning.  At the end of month three I returned to work.  She started out with my sister and now the time is split between Aunt Sara's house and day care.  She takes 3 bottles total while away from mama.  Usually 10-12 ounces. 
• . . .had her 2 month appointment during month 3. She was 23 inches long 10 lbs 13 oz
• . . .wearing 3 month clothing.  A few 0-3 month clothes fit but very, very few.   Size 2 in diapers.  Thankfully any diapers seem to work.  We can use Pampers, Huggies or Luvs. 
• . . . has found her hands.  Not in a way that she stares at them or really "found" them but that she sucks on her hands a lot.  Towards the end of the month she has found her thumb more and more, much to mama's disappointment.  I've been trying to replace the thumb with the binky as often as possible but it doesn't seem to be breaking the habit.  The hand sucking though occurs when she's drooling a lot and rubbing her gums with her knuckles.  We're pretty sure she's teething.  

Look how much she's grown!

a Breastfed baby...

I had a few misconceptions about breastfeeding and a breastfed baby.  Or perhaps the misconceptions are just about my daughter.  

• Breastfed babies will not burp as often.  They take in less air so the assumption is that they might not have to burp every time they eat like a formula fed baby.  I get the theory.  However, my little girl could compete with a fraternity burp contest.  She belches like a man.  Every.Single.Time  And if she doesn't get a burp out? Then you better be prepared to suffer the screaming fits that come along later. 
• Breastfed babies don't poop as much as formula fed babies.  I don't recall where I heard this one or why I ever thought that was the case.  I thought wrong.  For the first two months of Charlie's life she would fart/poop every time she ate.  She ate every two hours.  Entering into month three my darling daughter is able to blow out of any diaper brand you attach to her adorable little tush. I've cut her out of two onesies so far in her very short life.  It's amazing. 
• Breastfed babies get more baby chub.  I was expecting baby rolls and I have been sorely disappointed.  Perhaps its her genetics or maybe I just made a bad assumption on this one but my little peanut is just that, a little peanut.  

We are a week and a half away from Charlie turning 3 months old.  And we are still going strong with breastfeeding.  Although she is exclusively fed breast milk the bottle was introduced in week two.  She's  had a pacifier since she was 2 days old.  And, knock on wood, we haven't had any nipple confusion.  

However, now that I've returned to work and Charlie is with my sister all day, she's started to resent the bottle.  She'll eventually eat but when you first give her the bottle she'll choke, gag and use all kinds of antics to avoid.  The bottle aversion literally started in the last week before I returned to work.  Up until then she's had a full day of bottles when the husband and I attended a wedding one month and a concert the next.  She's had a bottle every single morning with her probiotic since she was a month old.   Hopefully it's just a phase.

Charlie 2 Months

I keep an ongoing "Baby Notes" in my notepad app on my cell phone.  When I'm pumping, nursing or just generally have a free brain cell to jot tidbits down about Charlie I try to do so.  So although month one was done in sections, going forward I'm going to use bullet points.

I think these two pictures really emphasize Charlie's changes from month one to two.  

So in Month 2 of Charlie's life...

• She was exclusively fed breast milk and would take bottle or boob without fuss.
• She started holding her head up more and more on her own
• She had her first trip to the beach at 7 weeks.  We went to Ocean City, MD with my mom, dad and brother. 
• She has started to coo and smile.  It wasn't all the time but once she got started, she just didn't stop.  My goodness when this girl gets to talking I'm going to be in trouble. 
• She was diagnosed with reflux and started a powder probiotic mixed with breast milk in the morning daily. Showed vast improvement with the burping and pooping. There was a lot of debate about what I was eating or drinking and how it was affecting her. I avoided dairy completely, tried not to over do the red sauce and wasn't eating anything spicy. 
• When we went to the doctor about the reflux Charlie weighed in at 8 lbs 
• Mommy & Daddy had their first really long day away from baby and went to the Jason Aldean concert.   My sister watched her for us and she was a complete doll for her.  Took the bottle, no biggie. 
• Sleeping 3-4 hours at a time.  Usually getting up around midnight and back up again at 4-5 in the morning to eat.  Still sleeping in her lounger beside our bed.  Emphasis on MY side of the bed.  Daddy somehow manages to sleep through all of this little girls grunts, groans and stretches. She is the noisiest sleeper I've ever encountered.  She's also a blanket sleeper.  She loves a soft blanket up by her face and cuddled down in.  
• In month two Charlie began to get into her 0-3 outfits and mama packed away all the newborn stuff. 

Month Two brought more changes and evolution.  I've seen babies grow up with my nephews and my friends kids but it's still astonishing to me that this is my baby and I'm watching her grow.  In some ways month two was still a point that I felt like I was a long term babysitter and I was just waiting for someone to come pick up this adorable little girl.  I know the majority of parents say how lucky they feel but really, I feel so lucky and blessed. 

Charlie 1 Month

This mama is sooo behind so let's jump right in shall we? 

Month One

Sleep: The first few nights before my milk came in she was up every two hours.  Not long after my milk was in Charlie started sleeping 3-4 hour stretches.  There are even some nights she'll go 6 hours straight.  This month consisted of a lot of sleeping.  Day sleeping, night sleeping.  But that's newborn days right? 

Eating: Month One consisted of every two hours.  When she hit 3 weeks old, she had a few consecutive days that she would nurse every hour for 20 minutes.  If you do the math that means by the time she finished nursing, she burped there was perhaps 20 minutes left to enjoy to myself.  We went through a phase where she refused the left breast.  I mean, screamed bloody hell and acted like I was killing her.  There were a few days (okay, several) that I almost threw in the towel on nursing and went straight to the store for formula.  I wanted to pull my hair out.  Thankfully both the breast preference and the every hour nursing were phases.  We started using a bottle once a day at 2 weeks old and she did great.  There was a little bit of tension when I would try to nurse her so we eliminated the bottle for a little while. 

Wearing: Newborn sizes in both clothes and diapers.  Charlie is long and lean it seems.  I keep waiting for her to get those baby chubs and it doesn't seem to be catching on.  This makes clothes a bit difficult.  She worn newborn sizes all through month one though but there were brands that worked and some that didn't.  

Size: Charlie was born at 6 lbs 7 oz and 19 inches long.  We left the hospital at 6 lbs 4 oz.  She progressively gained weight and her pediatrician was pleased.  Two weeks after she was born she weighed in 7 lbs 6 oz and 20 and half inches long.  

Motherhood Realities

Let's do this bulletin point style shall we? And jumping right in...

• Reality No 1.  Newborn phase may not last as long as you'd like.  As in this dear, sweet baby girl may not nap for 2 hours between feedings.  In fact she may not nap at all during the day as she closes in on two months old.  And mama may want to pull her hair out.  Currently she's still strapped into her car seat asleep.  And I'm crossing my fingers and toes that she stays that way until I can finish my sandwich
• Reality No 2.  Its not that scary.  I thought for sure I'd be up in the middle of the night in panic mode all the time.  I thought I'd be living at my mom's house daily so I wasn't far away from another adults opinion about this spot or that grunt.  But I none of the above as occurred with the exception of the week before she was diagnosed with reflux.  She was miserable.  Screaming rage miserable and I felt so helpless.  I reduced a thousand and one things from my diet and it didn't help.  Both of my nephews and myself had reflux as babies.  So it was a no brainer what was going on with our little miss.  She gets a powder form of a probiotic daily in a bottle.  I can give her an ounce in the bottle and immediately pop her on the boob, little to no fuss. 
• Reality No 3.  Speaking of bottle and boob, I was so worried about introducing the bottle.  Would she like the bottle better than me? Would she deny the boob and I'd be exclusively pumping?  This kid is a rock star.  She takes a bottle, a binkie or the boob.  The only time she gets pissed is if she's hungry right freaking now and we offer the binkie which doesn't give what she wants.  
• Reality No 4.  I'm not ready right this second to go back to work, but I'm ready to go back to work.  I'm mentally okay with returning.  I love this little girl with all my heart but these past few weeks have shown me that I'm not the stay at home mom type.  Her snuggles are great and her coo's are adorable, but I need the adult interaction and the routine that work will provide.  Not to mention just getting out of the house.  It'll be hard none the less but I don't mind that I'm going to be returning in a few weeks.  
• Reality No 5.  That weight will fall off at first.  The pregnancy weight that is.  I went from 183 at my highest back down to 146 at my 6 week check up.  I'm 6 lbs away from where I started at the beginning of the pregnancy.  Not too shabby.  And 3 of those pounds may be residing in my boobs.  
• Reality No 6.  Even though you feel like you sit around all day, nothing gets accomplished.  I wish that I could move and nurse at the same time.  I have done it once, but it's not easy.  I'm extremely heavy chested so a majority of the time I need to hold her with one hand and hold my boob with the other.   

And with that the child starts to awaken...

Charlotte Lynn

June 4th 2014
6 lbs 7 oz
19 inches long

Postpartum

Let's talk postpartum.  As in the hours, days and weeks after you've delivered that precious bundle who steals your sleep and sanity.  I say that with love.  I really do.  
My situation is obviously mine alone, but here are my thoughts. 
After Charlie was born, she nursed and the nurses took her off to be registered I was able to get a shower.  The initial getting off the bed you just labored in is gross.  Absolutely gross.  Because with each movement you make, you gush blood.  It's a period but way worse.  Be prepared to just feel gross.  The shower will help with that and if you have the energy, just stand under that hot spray for as long as possible.  [Insert here Pinterest Lie Number One: Do NOT bring your own towels for yourself.] You will continue to bleed for several weeks but those first few days in the hospital will be the gushing sort.  You'll want those icky, scratchy hospital towels to get blood stains rather than your own.  Do bring a nice towel for the husband.  Seeing as the hospital towels supplied to us were similar to hand towels, my poor 6'5" husband was short changed.  Thankfully I had thought ahead on that one.  

I did pack my own granny underwear and pads just in case the hospital supply was not comfortable.  The first day and night I used the mesh underwear and pads provided.  By the second day the bleeding had slowed and become much more manageable so I switched to my own things and was comfortable.  In my opinion pack 'em and be safe.  Your body just went through some serious trauma, no sense being even more uncomfortable if you don't have to. 

Pinterest tells you to get witch hazel pads and Dermoplast.  Witch hazel pads are amazing. Take those suckers and line them along your pad.  Relief.  I used the Dermoplast once and about lost my mind. I know that every one says to get the BLUE can.  And I emphasize for the love of all things get the damn BLUE can, not the red.  I couldn't find a blue can any where to save my life.  The Dermoplast website said that there wasn't any major differences between the two but they recommended the blue can.  However, all I had was the red. Once was all it took for me to toss that cursed can in the garbage.  Get the BLUE can.  

I am 3 weeks postpartum as of today and my bleeding has finally slowed to a very light period.  In fact the only time I bleed is when I nurse and my uterus contracts.  Oh and on that note, if you're going to nurse, you feel your uterus contracting when you nurse.  Yup.  I knew it did that but I had no idea how very much you could feel it doing that.  

So to sum up my postpartum recommendations
1. Don't bring a towel for yourself.  DO bring a towel for the husband. 
2. Bring those granny panties you don't care if you throw away and your own pads just for your sanity. 
3. Buy a surplus of witch hazel pads and line them along the pad every time you put a new one on. Thank me later
4. Buy the BLUE can of Dermoplast.  BLUE CAN. 
5. Uterus contractions.  Ibuprofen every 4-6 hours.  Do it.  
6. Not mentioned above but walk every so often.  Keep those muscles from cramping up.  Trust me, they cramp up. 
7. Also not mentioned above, but note worthy, take a stool softener daily.  Trust me.  And start the day you give birth.  

Charlie's Birth Story

On Tuesday June 3rd I was sent home with instructions to return that Friday for another NST. It would have been my 7th.  Through the beginning half of the pregnancy my mom and I had planned to start making trips to the maternity ward via both the main entrance and the ER entrance after each OB appointment so that we had a fairly good idea of where to go.  That planning was carried out just not in the way we thought.  With so many NST under our belts we felt like a couple of regulars and go to know the nurses in Triage pretty well.

Tuesday night was spent at home, relaxing with my husband as best as we could.  I decided for the first time in weeks I was going to sleep in the bed.  I wasn't as swelled as I had been and that had been my main reason for sleeping on the couch, in order to keep my feet propped. I didn't have my normal period like contractions.  There was nothing out of the ordinary.  The next morning I got up with the husband at 6 and went to pee.  I did my business and as I was walking back out of the bathroom suddenly felt wet again.  Like I had peed myself.  Back to the bathroom I go, feeling less than awesome at the prospect of peeing myself.  Again, after finishing up, I go to stand up and it happened again.  I sent my husband to work regardless because I honestly didn't think it was my water breaking.  It was such small amounts.  There was no big gush, no continuous flow.  I continued to leak for another hour.  At 7 I decided I better get a shower because if this was indeed my water I wanted my hair to be washed.  I showered, called my mom and told her to get her shower.  This was at 7:35.  At this point I was starting to cramp.  Similar to the cramping I had been having for the past two weeks.  They continued to intensify.  I paced in my bathroom and counted when the worst ones hit.  At 7:46 I called my husband and told him he better head home. I called my mom back at 8 and told her what was going on.  She mentioned she needed to dry her hair and I told her to do what she needed to do.   At this point I'm still in denial.  The contractions are coming pretty close together.  It felt like one had just mellowed out when it would start to rise and peak again. By 8:35 I was downstairs with my bag and Charlie's.  I called my mom repeatedly to get her to hurry and made the call to my husband that he needed to meet us at the hospital.  Contractions were intense.  So incredibly painful.  But still period type cramping.  It was all very low type pain.  My belly didn't get rock hard like I was told to look for.  I had no pain going along the top of my belly and seizing up my entire belly.  Rather it was all really low, low pain.  I put the dogs in their cages and stood in our downstairs bathroom and ran cold water over my hands.  Bending over with the high peaks of each contraction seemed the best option.  I screamed and was completely vocal.  I figured what the hell, I'm home alone anyways.  My poor dogs were traumatized by the experience and I feel so bad.  Also at this point I am having the incredible urge to poop.  Note to all those - DO NOT TRY TO POOP.  Thankfully I was pretty aware that this was bad considering I was still in my house and a 40 minute drive away from my hospital.  My mom got there I would guess around 8:40ish.  It took us a little while to get me in the car because I was contracting about every 2 minutes.  I didn't realize this until I was in the car and able to just stare at the clock as the waves of pain hit.  I can remember that I couldn't sit back and I couldn't sit on my butt at all.  I turned my body to the side and held on to the "oh shit" handle at the roof above the door.  Ya know that breathing technique that everyone in the movies uses when in labor?  Do it.  No joke.  For whatever reason it helped immensely to focus on puffing out air when those high peaks hit.  My mom drove 85 mph down the highway to get us to our destination.  With each low point I was tell her to watch her speed and that everything was fine.  When the high peaks hit I was begging her to let me poop and I swear I'd clean it up when this was all over.  I knew I couldn't poop or push but I will secretly admit there may have been a time or two my body just did it without my control.   We arrived at the hospital at 9:29 according to my mom's car clock.  She pulled into the valet parking, jumped out of the car, leaving it still running and her door hanging open, yelling at the attendants that we were in labor.  Lucky for us, I was at a high peak as we came rushing into the valet and one of the attendants had already rushed inside to get me a wheelchair.  An adorable older and very scrawny looking older woman came over to assist us getting up to maternity.  She was rushing with all her little body had.  I was at a low here and told her it was all going to be fine, she didn't have to over tax herself.  I apologized for being too heavy.  She was incredibly sweet and she went flying up the hallway towards maternity and rushed me through.  As we wheeled up to the nurses station they all seemed to be standing around very calm.  I could feel another contraction rising up and quickly mentioned that I had been 4 cm dilated on Monday and I was in intense pain.  My mom tells me I apologized several times here too.  I distinctly remember seeing a girl I went to school with and tried to have small talk but another contraction hit and I was wheeled in a labor and delivery room.

Things begin to get blurry here.  I remember several nurses.  I know that there was a nice, petite woman who introduced herself as Patty and my mom and I were so excited to actually meet her.  Her name had been mentioned several times over my NST trips but we had never met.  She was the Midwife that worked the maternity ward Monday through Friday.  She was the midwife who delivered my little girl and God bless that woman.  Another contraction hit as we were trying to get me undressed.  I vaguely remember asking for my epidural and Patty said she'd like to check me and see where I'm at first.  Fine, no problem, I was helped out of my shorts and underwear and told to lie back on the bed.  I did the best I could but quite frankly that position sucked and I really didn't want to.  When Patty checked me, I remember looking at her face as her eyes got serious and she nodded to the nurses.  A secret code I guess.  Her words to me were "when you feel that urge to poop again, you go ahead and push."  I hadn't remembered telling her that I wanted to poop, but I must have.  Quickly I was pushed back to lay down on the bed and stir ups were brought out.  I asked about any type of pain medication and I was informed that the baby was right there.  I wouldn't be getting anything.  Another contraction hit and I feebly pushed.  I know I slacked on that first one.  I was terrified.  No pain meds? Nothing??? I know I had said if I could I would try to but damnit at this point I couldn't.  I was in immense pain and I did NOT want to do this natural.  I also noticed the mirror that folds out from the ceiling.  I asked that it be put away and everyone questioned if I was sure to which I became adamant that the mirror needed to GO.  With the next contraction Patty encouraged me and said it would be over so quickly if I just gave it my best.  So I pushed.  The nurses kept trying to get me to hold my own legs up to my chest and that wasn't what I wanted to do at all.  At some point when Charlie was crowning when my husband got there and walked into the room.  He got to see that.  The man who didn't want to be in the room at all got to see all the glory.  But he did so good.  He came up by my head and I held his index finger, squeezing with everything I had as I pushed.  Patty at some point gave me two numbing shots.  She apologized for the pinch I would feel and I think I may have laughed at her or said she was crazy if she thought I cared about any pinch at this point.  The nurse to my left tried to put an IV in my hand to get me some fluids but that was forgotten.  Patty also was awesome and continued to use something that was really cold feeling as Charlie crowned to help with any tearing.  There was definitely the ring of fire as they call it.  In some ways, it was better because I knew if I could get past that ring, push through that pain, the rest was way easier.  And its so true.  Once you push out the head, the rest of the body seems to just gush out.  I felt so dirty to be honest because it was a big gush.  Ew.  They put her up on my chest and I remember stating, my gosh there's really a baby.  I think in some ways I have been distant during the pregnancy.  I wasn't able to totally emotionally connect to Charlie because that just isn't the type of person I am.  But there she was, squishy and screaming on my chest.  Patty asked Steve to cut the cord and he refused, telling her to let Grandma get that option.  He kept kissing my head and telling me how awesome I did.  They took her away to get weighed and checked out.  At this point Steve went with her while Patty continued to help me birth the placenta.  The pain does not stop when the baby exits.  The placenta wasn't brutal but it was definitely uncomfortable.   As was when Patty was cleaning me up and checking for any tears.  I didn't need any stitches.  Thanks to that wonder woman of a midwife.

Things are blurry and my sense of time is completely out of whack.  I know that they brought her back over to do skin to skin and thats' when I went through the registration process.  Steve signed a bunch of papers etc.  Odd.  Doing it all AFTER the baby has arrived but the little lady was not waiting.  They asked if I wanted to breastfeed and if I had taken any classes.  They all got a chuckle when I mentioned I had intended to go to the class being offered the following night.  The nurse, Amy I think was her name helped me get a latch and how to hold the breast etc.  She has 4 kids herself and breastfed all 4.  She was the nurse that stayed with me for the duration and I absolutely loved her.

Steve had called his mom and she arrived not long after Charlie was born.  In fact she was walking into the maternity ward when the nursery rhyme went off which indicates a birth.  So after I was cleaned up, everyone got to pass her around while the staff got a room ready for me.  I had sent the entire system into backward motion.  I was honestly so relaxed and content at that point.  There was relief that it was over and it hadn't taken several hours.  Joy that she was here.  Pure amazement and gratitude for my mom and for my husband.  Even then though I don't think it completely hit me how close we had been to having a baby on a main highway.  I mean.. one traffic light too many and I'm not sure how this story would have gone.

Patty mentioned that if there is a next pregnancy I will need to have my cervix length measured at 20 weeks and up to ensure that isn't the reason I delivered so fast.  A shortened cervix can cause preterm labor.  Oh and I also had to provide a pee sample to ensure that I wasn't on drugs.  Everyone was apologetic about it but I could've cared less.

So in conclusion, Charlotte Lynn was born June 4th at 9:40 am after mom pushed for a measly, excruciating 10 minutes.  She weighed in at 6lbs and 7 oz and was 19inches long.  And my gosh are we so very blessed to have her in our lives.