Husband immediately wanted to go tell everyone. Thankfully we tempered that down to immediate family.
We took the Halloween cards and wrote on the inside that we were expecting our own pumpkin in June 2014.
Husband called his mom to see where she was. Unfortunately she was out with friends, so we stopped at my parents house first.
A little back story. The day before my mom had texted me and asked if I was pregnant. Random question, she had never done that before. I scuffed it off and said, of course not. I wouldn't be so lucky. Apparently there was a post on someone's Facebook page that several people saw, congratulating a couple with the same names as us. This couple had just gotten married the weekend prior, but everyone thought it was about husband and I and a pregnancy. So by the end of Thursday, I had told several people that no we are not expecting and who the congratulations was actually for. Insert I am a big fat liar.
Keeping that back story in the back of your mind. When I handed my mom the card, she clearly knew what I was about to tell her. She didn't really react. So far, I was 0-2. She gave me a hug and said congratulations and I tried to explain that I honestly didn't know yesterday, but she still was very distant. It hurt. A lot.
My sister squealed. And that was fabulous. She poked my tummy a time or two, just enough to piss me off. But her reaction started to make up for everyone else's crappy reactions.
Next up was his mom. We actually went into the bar she was at and gave her the card. She was instant tears. I had to keep telling her to hold them in or everyone is going to want to know what's going on! But you could tell she was genuinely happy for us. The only thing that freaked me out was when she went in for a hug, she grabbed my stomach. I don't mean she patted it or placed her hand there, she grabbed and shook. Awkwardddddd
Last was Steve's sister and she started the water works too. She didn't even get a card. I just shoved all the pee sticks in her face. Looking back, that was probably a little tacky. One that I carried them around and two that I happened to shove them in people's faces. Awkward much?
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
So there's that
Remember those Halloween cards I bought? I took one and wrote on the inside, "I was thinking about our Halloween costumes. It's too soon this year, but next year I was thinking we could just go as "mom and dad" I gave this card to Husband who was sitting on the couch, watching ESPN.
He read the card twice and had this stone face. He didn't say a word and just looked at me. I was smiling, cause I thought that this was what we were trying to achieve. I showed him the pee sticks. Still nothing. I said, "Oh, well that went really well." And walked away. I sat on the dining room floor, trying to suppress the tears while playing with the dogs. I must've sat there for a good 10 minutes before he finally came in the room and sat down at the table. I don't remember his exact words, but I think it was something along the lines of "is this for real"
Instant rage. Thanks kiddo for that - cause mommy has been super cranky. I just looked at him. I couldn't believe he would think I was lying about this. Such a huge moment in our lives where I expected smiles and kisses and I got anger. My husband is a sweet man. And I love him. But he has a definite talent for fucking up the best moments.
He later explained that he thought I had bought another dog. Because of the puppy on the front. Whatever his reason, he still sucks and it was still heartbreaking. He has come around so much since that night, but it definitely wasn't the reaction I thought I would get. I mean, he's not a big emotional type person, but I at least thought I'd get a smile.
He read the card twice and had this stone face. He didn't say a word and just looked at me. I was smiling, cause I thought that this was what we were trying to achieve. I showed him the pee sticks. Still nothing. I said, "Oh, well that went really well." And walked away. I sat on the dining room floor, trying to suppress the tears while playing with the dogs. I must've sat there for a good 10 minutes before he finally came in the room and sat down at the table. I don't remember his exact words, but I think it was something along the lines of "is this for real"
Instant rage. Thanks kiddo for that - cause mommy has been super cranky. I just looked at him. I couldn't believe he would think I was lying about this. Such a huge moment in our lives where I expected smiles and kisses and I got anger. My husband is a sweet man. And I love him. But he has a definite talent for fucking up the best moments.
He later explained that he thought I had bought another dog. Because of the puppy on the front. Whatever his reason, he still sucks and it was still heartbreaking. He has come around so much since that night, but it definitely wasn't the reaction I thought I would get. I mean, he's not a big emotional type person, but I at least thought I'd get a smile.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Several pee sticks later
I need to write about this but I'm hesitant to put words to print. I feel like a fraud. And I'm still afraid this will all go away
Throughout the week last week, I experienced, what I thought was the signs of the impending AF.
Thursday night, I explained my symptoms to the husband and he tossed out the comment "maybe you're expanding."
I didn't think anything more of it. Of course I'm not expanding. Of course I'm not pregnant. We've been at this for 9 months, and the one month I don't track, I don't temp, I don't feel myself up checking my cervix and other parts - we did not get pregnant. Absolutely not.
Only we did.
Friday morning I took one of my cheap wondfo pregnancy tests that came with my OPKs. (Amazon people, awesomeness) It was faint. Incredibly faint. So faint that I ignored it. Took more with me to work and figured, I'll retest at work and it will be negative. Done deal. I got to work, researched the batch of wondfo's I have and discovered that some women had experienced several false negatives within the same batch I had. Well duh, of course. There's the answer then.
But that didn't sit well with me. Never had I had cramps for a week before AF. Maybe a day, but even then that was rare. I normally would start to cramp the second the blood started flowing.
So all rational thought was out of my head by then. I went to Target, bought legitimate pregnancy tests (First Response) Peed at work and it was instant two lines. All I kept thinking was this was a sick joke. I would be the one to get a faulty pregnancy test.
Proceeded through my day, but before I went home I stopped at a local drugstore. One I was sure that nobody I knew would be around. I wandered through and picked up a cute pack of Halloween cards with a puppy in a pumpkin. Eventually making my way to the tampon/pregnancy test aisle. I managed to put myself in the position to appear to be looking at tampons, while able to sneak sly looks at the HPT. Lucky for me I positioned myself accordingly because along comes a woman who works with my Dad. Major gossip type woman. I quickly snap up a box of tampons and start reading the back. She stopped to say hello and we talked for several minutes before she wandered away. As soon as she was out of site, I snapped up the closest digital test I could grab and practically ran to the counter.
When I got home, I didn't even stop to give the husband a kiss on the cheek. I went straight upstairs to pee on more sticks. All three tests I had at my disposable told me I was pregnant. I thought I'd cry when this happen. I thought I'd be jumping for joy and all I feel is terror.
Throughout the week last week, I experienced, what I thought was the signs of the impending AF.
Thursday night, I explained my symptoms to the husband and he tossed out the comment "maybe you're expanding."
I didn't think anything more of it. Of course I'm not expanding. Of course I'm not pregnant. We've been at this for 9 months, and the one month I don't track, I don't temp, I don't feel myself up checking my cervix and other parts - we did not get pregnant. Absolutely not.
Only we did.
Friday morning I took one of my cheap wondfo pregnancy tests that came with my OPKs. (Amazon people, awesomeness) It was faint. Incredibly faint. So faint that I ignored it. Took more with me to work and figured, I'll retest at work and it will be negative. Done deal. I got to work, researched the batch of wondfo's I have and discovered that some women had experienced several false negatives within the same batch I had. Well duh, of course. There's the answer then.
But that didn't sit well with me. Never had I had cramps for a week before AF. Maybe a day, but even then that was rare. I normally would start to cramp the second the blood started flowing.
So all rational thought was out of my head by then. I went to Target, bought legitimate pregnancy tests (First Response) Peed at work and it was instant two lines. All I kept thinking was this was a sick joke. I would be the one to get a faulty pregnancy test.
Proceeded through my day, but before I went home I stopped at a local drugstore. One I was sure that nobody I knew would be around. I wandered through and picked up a cute pack of Halloween cards with a puppy in a pumpkin. Eventually making my way to the tampon/pregnancy test aisle. I managed to put myself in the position to appear to be looking at tampons, while able to sneak sly looks at the HPT. Lucky for me I positioned myself accordingly because along comes a woman who works with my Dad. Major gossip type woman. I quickly snap up a box of tampons and start reading the back. She stopped to say hello and we talked for several minutes before she wandered away. As soon as she was out of site, I snapped up the closest digital test I could grab and practically ran to the counter.
When I got home, I didn't even stop to give the husband a kiss on the cheek. I went straight upstairs to pee on more sticks. All three tests I had at my disposable told me I was pregnant. I thought I'd cry when this happen. I thought I'd be jumping for joy and all I feel is terror.
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