Parenting & Control Issues

Hello, my name is Samantha and I have control issues.  I suppose a sub category could also be added to say I have trust issues as well.  But my trust issues are related to my control issues. Got that?

With that being said, parenting throws my anxious little control self into a frenzy more times then not.  There's always the normal situations, is she sleeping enough, eating enough etc.  And I work through those, read panic google every single detail.  But there's also situations that arise where another is in control of my daughter's life and I have yet to learn how to deal accordingly.

I openly admit that I like to be in control.  It's in my nature.  When I'm not in control, I'm anxious and strung out. However, I also think there are situations that aren't necessarily just my personal control issues but also my yearn to parent my own child.

As a working mother, I trust my baby to other adults for her day to day needs and care.  I have to release the control to these individuals so I can go to work 5 days a week.  I don't get to parent my child while I'm at work.  I'm not the one clapping and congratulating her when she graduates past yet another milestone.  I am not the one scolding her to stop pulling another child's hair or not to throw her food.  I can't help her through her nap aversions during the week because I'm not the one putting her down for a nap.  There's so many things working mothers miss out on.

So to compensate what I miss, I'm pretty territorial over the items I can control.  I get to pack what she eats for breakfast and lunch.  I get to choose the brand of sippy cup I want her to graduate to from the bottle.  I choose the brand of diapers she wears along with the adorable outfits I've spent precious money on.  I decide when she'll have her "firsts" with meal choices.  As a mother, I relish in what I can experience with my daughter.  I want to be around for everything, but it's unrealistic for me.

It's incredibly frustrating when others take away those moments for me.  And I have trouble finding the right balance between letting the individual know how I feel and relaxing enough to let it go.  How do you determine when is the right time to say something?  When do you stop and say enough is enough or choose to just let it all go?  And if you choose to let it go, how do you do it?  I am struggling with each month that passes and Charlie gets older.  It seems more and more things are out of my control and they're simple little things I should still be able to hold onto.

Charlie 10 Months

Our baby is 10 months old.  She's TWO months away from being a year! Good grief.  This month was so much better then the month previous.  

  

      

- Charlie started sleeping on her stomach with her butt in the air. She doesn't start out this way, but there's been more than one morning we've found her like this
- Also on the sleeping front, she's back to sleeping through the night 98% of the time.  We can deal with 2% of middle of the night wake ups.  Happy baby, happy (well rested) parents. 
- Her sounds are quite vast. She has her normal jibber jabber, and not she's added this low, scratchy voice. It's hilarious to us listening to all the noises she creates. Newest addition, one I'm pretty sure she picked up from cousin Cooper because it sounds exactly like him is her grunts.  She will grunt at you once, maybe twice to get your attention.  She's got the "dadadada" noise down and on occasion we've heard "mamama" but usually she likes the G sound and goes with a "gabagababa" type babble. 
- She loves to jump in your arms, but she seems to be over her jumper we have. The one at Ma's house has a lot more bounce so she can still be entertained in it. Our's has since been moved upstairs to the end of the hall.  I'm not ready to put it away entirely.  There's still occasions that we plop her in it to allow us to make the bed or put away laundry.  

- She started out the month by standing up with a little bit of assistance. If she can get a good grip, she can pull herself up from a sitting position. By the end of the month Charlie was able to pull herself to stand on whatever furniture she sees fit without assistance.  Cue mama heart attack.  This neat trick also earned her first black eye at daycare when she toppled down and hit her head on a toy.   It was also the reason her crib mattress was lowered this month. 
- At the beginning of the month she still wasn't crawling in the normal respect, she started this lunging action. She would get up on her knees and then lunge herself forward at a toy. It's pretty amusing. Mainly though she was rolling herself from place to place. On 3/15/15 Charlie crawled for the first time.  It was awesome because both Steve and I were home to witness it! We've tried countless tricks in the past to get her to try and go after things, but nothing ever worked.  My romance novel was laying on the floor and that's the item that finally peaked her interest enough to get her moving! Like good parents, we continued to toss it back and forth, having our daughter play "fetch" while we took videos.  
- She loves to dance. Whether it's Frank Sinatra playing or daddy singing something silly, Charlie loves to dance with us.  Even when music comes on from a movie or the radio, she scoots her butt and bounces to the music. 

- We had our first swim class! It's only a half hour class and I'd say she's the second youngest in the class.  She didn't scream, but there was basically no expression what so ever until the very end.  She kicked her feet a bit but still wasn't too sure about the whole experience.  It's a class that runs through the summer, so we're going to keep trying!

 

-    First Easter (out of the womb) She enjoyed some noodles, green beans and mashed potatoes.  Along with a ridiculous amount of pictures by mama and relatives.
- Wearing 6-9 months and 9 month clothing.  Size 3 disposable diapers. 
- Still on Zantac twice a day.  
-  She usually take 5-6 ounce bottles 4-5 times a day.  We're working our way up to 6 ounce bottles right now.  I worry about this a lot because I want to get Charlie transitioned to the sippy cup.  I have no idea how to involve that transition yet.  
-  Charlie is starting to get sick of baby food.  Especially when around the cousins or eating meals with mama and daddy.  So we're slowly working on big people food with her.   She has an awful gag reflex so although she has though 8 pretty teeth, it makes me nervous. 
- This month she's also become more of a "home body" so to speak.  Charlie will tolerate strangers but only if firmly held by mama or daddy  (usually mama).