Writing it all down, sometimes

I read several blogs a day.  Whether I sit and binge read my list or I catch up on one or two at a time, there's a long list that awaits me each day.  I love to read blogs.  I love to read in general, but there's something so uniquely awesome about reading others' thoughts and daily livings.  I find my own self, wandering towards expressing our lives for the world wide web to view and holding back, feeling faintly scared of all the unknown.  I give great credit to those who stick it all out there for everyone to see.  I especially love the ones that hold nothing back.  They express their feelings about family, marriage, kids etc and take the hits that come with it.  I wish I could "write it all down" and walk away feeling okay about it.  Instead I worry that I'll upset someone's feelings or maybe I'm putting too much out there.  It's a game of balance and I'm usually not winning.

I often wonder if my daughter will read blogs.  If blogs will even be a "thing" when she's older.  Will she scoff at her mama for putting her picture on the internet for anyone to steal? Or perhaps she'll carry on the tradition with her own children.

I love being able to document her life, our lives in one place.  I love to type and to let the words flow to the pages.  But I also love to hand write things.  I'm contemplating starting a hand written journal.  Perhaps along side the online blog or maybe in place of, once Charlie is a year old.  At that point the monthly updates will slow down and I could write day to day things.  Years from now, she'd have my words in my hand writing.  I like the idea of that.  I still have notes that my mom wrote me years ago.  I keep notes and poems that my husband has written for me.  There's something so personal about a handwritten letter or note.  It almost allows you to touch that person, so to speak.  In a way that if they wrote this note, then they were really here.  Those memories aren't just my imagination.  The down side to a hand written journal is the lack of pictures.  And pictures really help paint the picture.  So I continue to love my online place of memories.

Just a regular, wonderful weekend recap

I keep telling myself that I'm going to put more thought and words into this space.  To have more for Charlie to read as she gets older, a glimpse of what her mom was/is.  But then time gets away from me, life gets busy, and even on more than one occasion I get anxious.  I over think everything.  All of the details to what I want to post, what I could post, what I probably shouldn't post.  That seems silly to many but it's honest worry of mine.

So we'll just jump into some calm waters for the first (read, bazillionth) time out of the gate.  About two weeks ago, Steve and I scheduled to get our taxes done on a Thursday morning.  Since I scored some more vacation days with my 5  year anniversary at work I decided what the heck, I'll take that Thursday and Friday off work.  Best decision. Charlie still went to daycare on Thursday and to my mom's on Friday so essentially it was like being young, and childless again.  We went and got our taxes done and Steve spoiled me with an Olive Garden lunch trip.  Friday we made plans to drive into Pittsburgh to the Apple store to fix the battery on my iPhone.  I lucked out because my iPhone was one of so many sold in September 2012 that had a faulty battery so there was a battery replacement for free!

My birthday is coming and I joked to Steve that he could get me a Michael Korrs purse since there was a store in the mall.  His argument was that he'd rather buy me another LV then spend a hundred on a purse I'm going to get tired of anyways.  We won't be telling him a MK purse doesn't retail for $100 because really, when you get the chance for a Louie you say heck to the yes.  I debated though.  Mom brain came on.  And wouldn't shut up.  I could buy so many diapers with that money.  Or formula, Heaven knows formula costs an arm and a leg.  Fortunately for me, my husband took the decision out of my hands and drove to a whole other mall to take me to the Louis Vuitton store.  He told me that I deserved the purchase for all the sacrifices I'd made in the past year for Charlie and for him.  A woman can't argue with a man intent on spending several hundreds on a purse.  When we walked into the store the angels sang and the very well dressed salesmen helped me purchased my second Louie.  (For Christmas two years ago Steve was told to surprised me the Speedy 30)  This time I walked out of the store with the the Neverfull in medium.

We had the best time, talking and reconnecting again.  Odd topics came up, but ones that I want to remember.  We talked a lot about breastfeeding of all things.  Even now, being done with it, I still think about it.  I wonder if I'll breastfeed our next child or if I'll be more comfortable with formula.  Steve actually commented that he was glad I had chosen to breastfeed.  That he didn't know all the statistics and fine print but he knew it was the best choice for the baby.  (I don't think there really is a best choice per say) But he gave me a lot of credit for doing it and sticking it out as long as I had.  He also said that he'd be happy if I chose to do it again.   It was so nice to hear.  To hear that somebody gave me credit for what I'd chosen.  Especially my husband.  All this time I felt so much guilt because I thought that I had taken away something from him by choosing to breastfeed.

I know the rest of the weekend was family time. My little brother's 11th birthday, running errands with my Grandma Betty.  But I couldn't tell you many details.  I can tell you that it was the best long weekend I'd had in a while.  It was wonderful and I hope to never forget it.

Charlie 9 Months

I think every month we, as parents, look back and go, "what the heck, how has this baby been here for just/only x number of months?!"  It's fascinating how such a little person consumes you.  How you can't imagine life without her but you have no idea how that much time has gone by already.  I won't say that it's like she was born yesterday, but I can say I'm astounded how fast she grows.  Writing notes down in my phone along the way certainly helps.  Because one day Charlie isn't sticking her tongue out like a lizard and then all of a sudden it's a common habit.  

So as we roll into the next stage of the game, these are the things of Charlie's life at 9 months.  


- She still isn't crawling :( Only backwards. But she does like to roll herself anywhere she wants to go.
- Although she's been able to sit by herself for a little while now, we've just started letting her sit up by herself in the bathtub.  It's still a bit slippy but she does very well.
- Bath time has also taken on a whole new meaning for Charlie.  She's discovered the art of splashing water.  She'll take her hands and smack down into the water but she also loves to kick her feet.  Occasionally this results in some bumped head moments as she topples over, but she's learning.  Thankfully daddy still does bath time duty so mom stays dry. 
- Charlie has discovered her tongue.  In a way.  She doesn't stick it out all the way out, but more of a lizard type tongue.  It seems like she does it all the time now for no real reason.  But it's adorable and we love it. 
- The Queen wave hasn't stopped.  Sometimes she does with both hands, sometimes just one.  But she's started to follow somebody's lead.  So if mommy waves to daddy then she'll wave too.  Most of the time she's stubborn about it, but she seems to certainly know how to do it if she wants. 
- Charlie got 4 teeth on the top of this month! FOUR.  In a row.  As of 9 months, there are 4 teeth in a row on the bottom and 4 teeth in a row on the top.  The top four are still making their way in, but they're half way there, so we figure it's enough to count!  We can already tell that your going to have your mama's front gap.  Time to start saving for those braces!

- Eating is all over the place.  She use to be such a routine baby.  Clock work really.  But this month, between sickness, teething etc. it's been just whatever works.  Usually Charlie will have 4-5 bottles of formula a day, a yogurt in the morning, 1-2 jars of baby food at lunch, 1-2 jars of baby food at dinner. Puffs all day, every day.  This is your first full month on strictly formula.  Other than a flare in your Eczema on your elbows, knees and hands there hasn't been any issues with the formula, thank goodness. 
- Sleeping is a bit of a troublesome thing. We use to nurse while rocking to sleep. Since switching to bottles/formula, she still does let me feed/rock to sleep, however, this month she doesn't fall asleep as she drinks the bottle. So I'm putting her to bed wide awake. She'll sometimes fuss and throw a fit before she finds the thumb and fall asleep. Other times I think we will have a fight and Charlie rolls right to her side as soon as I lay her down and she's out. This month hasn't been good for sleeping through the night either. First Charlie was pretty sick and woke several times through the night for a week. But even after the sickness was over, she's still waking once a night.  It's not every night, but it's often enough to have me curious what's going on.  Usually she takes a bottle and she's right back to bed.  Also, thanks to formula feeding, mama can nudge daddy and let him take a turn! Not to mention the weekend mornings when daddy takes baby and mama can sleep in.  Glorious!
- Charlie moved into a convertible car seat this month.  Big girl status, right here! We still have her rear facing in the vehicles we're able to.  If she meets the weight at her 9 month appointment, we'll probably turn the car seat forward facing.  She is miserable rear facing and just wants to see.  Or at least that's what I tell myself while she screams on the car ride home every.single.day. 
- Wearing 6 month onesies, 6 month, 6-9 month sleepers, 6-12 month leggings, 9 month pants.  
- Still in size 3 disposable diapers.  
- Still on Zantac twice and day.  We aren't sure if we want to start phasing this out yet or not.  I'm sure come her one year appointment that subject will be brought up by the doctor.  
- I was reading through some past monthly updates and realized that somewhere along the way her bedtime routine moved up by an hour?  We had started out at 7:30 bath time, but for the past several months we've done 6:30 bath time, followed by a book (if she's in the mood), bottle and bed.
- At her 9 month well visit ( a week after she turned 9 months) she weighed in at 16lbs 14oz.  Her height is 27 1/4" .  
- Also at her well visit, Charlie had her iron levels tested and they were low.  So we are starting up a vitamin supplement with iron.  The same vitamin will also include fluoride as requested by mama so we can get to working on those 8 teeth!
- Becoming incredibly difficult to take pictures sitting still. :)