Expectations and Assumptions

I struggle between writing down my emotions now while they're still raw and fresh or waiting a few weeks and seeing if I let go of the anger I'm harboring.  Perhaps anger is too harsh of a word to use.  I'm a little bitter about my first Mother's Day.  Sad even, with the lack of recognition.  But I'm not surprised.

I am a romantic, mushy person at heart.  I love the silly, calendar holidays just as much as the next mama out there.  However, my husband is not cut from the same cloth.  Instead, he doesn't really see the point or why it's a big deal.  He's very relaxed about holidays and birthdays in general.  It's just not his thing.  It's taken me 5 long years to accept this fact.  I've grown to see that he won't change and I can't make him (nor have I tried to - who wants a gift that you forced your loved one to buy?) I set my expectations low for my first Mother's Day.  At least, I thought they were low enough so as not to get disappointed.  I was proven wrong.

A few weeks ago, I had told my husband that I wanted a card for Mother's Day.  I suppose I should've been more specific and said I wanted a pretty, millions of them printed, card from some big box store that I can save with the other few and far between cards I've received over the years.  I was not that specific and had simply stated I wanted a card.  This isn't a new request.  It's one I make for any birthday or anniversary actually.  It's also a request that 99% of the time gets ignored.   It was no different this year, on this holiday.

He did manage on the morning of, to scribble a cute poem on a scrap piece of paper and put it in a left over envelop from our daughter's birthday invites.  All sitting in the same vicinity or I doubt I would've gotten an envelop [smirk]

As mothers, I think many of us look forward to a day that is for us.  It's somewhat of a selfish thought or want but I don't think it's unjustified.  We work hard all year long, there are not vacation days or sick days.  Sometimes there are days or weeks that go by and you don't hear the word, 'thank you.'  It's not such a bad thing to expect a little showering of love on one day out of the year, right?  Thanks to the big box stores and the media, there's big expectations set for such a holiday.  One would think that every mom gets diamonds from Jarred or delivered flowers.  It really is a holiday that has gotten blown out of proportion.  My mother and mother in law were just thrilled to have us in their presence for a few hours.  They each got individual time with their grandchildren and their children.  Mother's Day should be about the mothers, but it shouldn't be about the biggest present to give or receive.

What's harder yet is the affect that social media has had on such calendar holidays.  Suddenly there a perfect pictures everywhere.  Mother's and their beautifully dressed children posing for the completely unrealistic picture.  It has to be Facebook worthy!  Suddenly mothers are comparing their day to someone else's and the disappointment grows.  But the pictures you see, the captions you read are never the full story.  That may be her 4th outfit for the day because the others had baby spit up.  Those flowers she got may be beautiful, but perhaps they're causing her allergies to go crazy.  Because even though she's told her significant other a bazillion times she's allergic, (s)he continues to buy them.  Her chocolate may have been stale or her food cold by the time she got to eat.

So I suppose the lesson to learn is to set your expectations lower than low and don't make assumptions! With low expectations, chances of disappointment are fewer.  And to assume only makes an "ass of you and me"

Charlie 11 Months

Oh sweet child of mine, I'm slacking this month.  It seems like the 11th month came and went so fast.  I realized Sunday night that Charlie would be turning 11 months the following day.  So I opened up my Notebook app to see what notes I had jotted down throughout the month and this is what I saw.

I can say without any doubt that Charlotte has been busy this month.  So busy in fact, that she didn't even give her dear, sweet mom a chance to put down some notes.  No, can't blame it on the baby? 

Speaking of baby, it seems in this month my baby went to a toddler quickly.  At the beginning of the month I can distinctly remember telling someone (or many) that I didn't feel like she was a toddler yet and she still felt like a baby to me.  Well not anymore! The baby is vanishing so quick, I feel like it's smoke that I see but can't grasp.  

- Charlie learned how to walk with assistance.  She can walk independently while pushing her blue elephant.  The first time she did this was for Steve and I on a Friday evening.  And like any good parent would do, similar to her crawling experience, we made her do it over and over while videoing. 

- OVER baby food.  No more, no sir. In the beginning her gag reflex was still pretty evident so we transitioned to the Gerber graduate foods.  Anything she can pick up and feed herself is a win in Charlie's book.  Depending on what we're having for lunch or dinner, we'll feed her what we're

having also.  She does not like the carrots that mama makes.  LOVES bread, all the bread, all the time.  She also is getting use to using a fork and spoon on occasion.  Sometimes its more of a throw toy but it's a work in progress.

- This months Charlie has also discovered the sharing nature she has.  As in, she loves to throw food on the floor to let the dogs get bites too.  She'll also casually drop her food covered arm and hand to the side of the high chair and the dogs will gladly clean her up. You have to be paying good attention to her to catch this act before it's too late.  

- Working on the sippy cup.  More so, mama is working on remember the sippy cup.  She'll use it like a champ and loves water, but 8 times out of 10, I forget to give it to her.  

- Still drinking four 6 oz bottles of formula a day.  Sometimes this will vary depending on the day and who's she's with, but generally that's what she has.  When she hits 11 1/2 months I'm going to start transitioning to whole milk I think.  

- This month was a blissful month of sleeping through the night.  One or two wake ups in the middle of the night that resulted in her coming to bed with us.  It's not a habit I want to start, but it was kind of nice to cuddle with my baby again.  

- We continued with swim class this month.  Although we missed a few, she's finally starting to splash in the water and smile a teeny, tiny bit! Progress! 

- Bath time got moved back by a half hour this month.  Now we go for bath at 7 pm.  We let her play and splash the whole bathroom for around 15 minutes.  It takes another 15-20 minutes to get her dry, diapered and clothed! From there it takes around 30 minutes for her to drink her bottle and finally fall asleep as we rock.  

- It's odd but nap time and bed time routine has changed again this month.  Charlie use to let me lay her down in her crib and she'd fall asleep on her own without too much fuss.  Now a days, I rock her to sleep for both nap and bedtime if I have any hopes of her going to sleep.  I feel like we're regressing but at the same time, in my gut it feels right.  She'll make the next transition on her own. 

- Still on Zantac twice a day

- Still experiencing some "stranger danger" tendencies.  She won't full out scream, but she pouts and curls into mom or dad tighter.  

- Experiencing some grass this month with the warm weather! Not a fan.  Ha! She will leave one foot down and hold the other leg, foot up. Like a dog that doesn't want to step in the cold snow.  It's fairly amusing to watch.   

- Wearing 9 months clothes.  Size 3 disposable diapers.  

- No height or weight to report as we haven't had any recent doctor's visits (thank goodness) But I'm pretty sure our little tiny baby is getting some chunk! 

- Speaking of size, she's probably at the 20 lb weight limit to turn her car seat forward but I figure we've come this far with rear facing, might as well make it to her birthday! She still hates the car seat in the evenings.  In the mornings she's fine for her daddy.  But he generally seems to be the only one.  She isn't a fan of the rear facing situation at all, but it is what it is.  

Goodness, this little baby is going to be a whole year old in one more month! It's so amazing to watch her learn and grow with each day.  Looking forward to what lies ahead!