I struggle between writing down my emotions now while they're still raw and fresh or waiting a few weeks and seeing if I let go of the anger I'm harboring. Perhaps anger is too harsh of a word to use. I'm a little bitter about my first Mother's Day. Sad even, with the lack of recognition. But I'm not surprised.
I am a romantic, mushy person at heart. I love the silly, calendar holidays just as much as the next mama out there. However, my husband is not cut from the same cloth. Instead, he doesn't really see the point or why it's a big deal. He's very relaxed about holidays and birthdays in general. It's just not his thing. It's taken me 5 long years to accept this fact. I've grown to see that he won't change and I can't make him (nor have I tried to - who wants a gift that you forced your loved one to buy?) I set my expectations low for my first Mother's Day. At least, I thought they were low enough so as not to get disappointed. I was proven wrong.
A few weeks ago, I had told my husband that I wanted a card for Mother's Day. I suppose I should've been more specific and said I wanted a pretty, millions of them printed, card from some big box store that I can save with the other few and far between cards I've received over the years. I was not that specific and had simply stated I wanted a card. This isn't a new request. It's one I make for any birthday or anniversary actually. It's also a request that 99% of the time gets ignored. It was no different this year, on this holiday.
He did manage on the morning of, to scribble a cute poem on a scrap piece of paper and put it in a left over envelop from our daughter's birthday invites. All sitting in the same vicinity or I doubt I would've gotten an envelop [smirk]
As mothers, I think many of us look forward to a day that is for us. It's somewhat of a selfish thought or want but I don't think it's unjustified. We work hard all year long, there are not vacation days or sick days. Sometimes there are days or weeks that go by and you don't hear the word, 'thank you.' It's not such a bad thing to expect a little showering of love on one day out of the year, right? Thanks to the big box stores and the media, there's big expectations set for such a holiday. One would think that every mom gets diamonds from Jarred or delivered flowers. It really is a holiday that has gotten blown out of proportion. My mother and mother in law were just thrilled to have us in their presence for a few hours. They each got individual time with their grandchildren and their children. Mother's Day should be about the mothers, but it shouldn't be about the biggest present to give or receive.
What's harder yet is the affect that social media has had on such calendar holidays. Suddenly there a perfect pictures everywhere. Mother's and their beautifully dressed children posing for the completely unrealistic picture. It has to be Facebook worthy! Suddenly mothers are comparing their day to someone else's and the disappointment grows. But the pictures you see, the captions you read are never the full story. That may be her 4th outfit for the day because the others had baby spit up. Those flowers she got may be beautiful, but perhaps they're causing her allergies to go crazy. Because even though she's told her significant other a bazillion times she's allergic, (s)he continues to buy them. Her chocolate may have been stale or her food cold by the time she got to eat.
So I suppose the lesson to learn is to set your expectations lower than low and don't make assumptions! With low expectations, chances of disappointment are fewer. And to assume only makes an "ass of you and me"
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