* Originally written June 16th 2014. I want to document my actual thoughts. So if/when I have another child I don't think that my journey with Charlie was a breeze. Breastfeeding is in some ways easier than formula, but in others its a struggle and a big sacrifice.
Days like today make me want to stop breast feeding. Things were going really smoothly until this weekend. For the most part she was nursing every 2-3 hours and for 10-15 minutes per side. Then came a stretch of 20 minutes each side and nursing every 3-4 hours. That was actually quite glorious. She's always favored the right side but she never denied nursing from the left. But lately, these last few days she's fought. For one, she waits until I have her crooked in my arm, boob exposed ready to go to put serious effort into pooping. This requires a tense body, scrunched face and screaming fits. I usually try to start her with the left side, realizing it's her least favorite and hoping it'll encourage her to eat just a little from the left before denying it completely. But in the last few days she fights me with the left so ferociously.
Today though was a bad day. Today was a day that I seriously thought I was losing my mind. I can't do the stay at home mom gig. No way. I need social interaction. Today I didn't have any social interaction with people. And I can tell it has affected my mood. Add to it Charlie has decided that she only wants to nurse for 10 minutes on the right side and then an hour later nurse again. I can't get a thing done. I'm so tired. I'm frustrated and I'm near tears. No, I'm not near tears I'm full fledged teary eyed just typing this. I need a break. How sad is that? Two weeks in and I want a break from my daughter. My gosh, I'll win awards won't I?
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