I have so many posts I want to get down but I find my mind jumbled lately. Going back to work and parenting, keeping a house a home has definitely kept me moving.
But something that has been weighing heavy on my mind lately is baby number two. I have no idea why my heart keeps thinking about the next when the first hasn't even made it to half a year yet. Regardless of the logic, or lack there of, when I'm nursing Charlie or playing I'm already envisioning an older Charlie running around the yard with a little sister. A little brother would be fine too but there's definitely a little girl in these day dreams I've been having. I don't know that I would call it seeing into the future so to speak, but I have my own version of gut instinct. I felt pretty certain that Charlie was a girl from the get go. I also knew I wouldn't be pregnant past 38 weeks. I gave birth at 38 weeks and one day. I had no science to back me up, no dreams of what was to come. I simply just felt that was how it would go.
So when I sit here and can feel so strongly about baby number two being a girl, I have trouble talking myself out of it. I have plans for the nursery already and a name I love. I have to laugh because as I approached the subject with the husband I was anxious for his response. For a long time Steve has only ever wanted one child. I don't know his reasoning other than financial. But today, when I asked him if he liked a particular little girl's name, he smiled all the way to his eyes and just said he didn't know. Well I know my husband and I see that little girl in our lives a few years from now. I look forward to my first born having a little sister. I love the idea of these girls growing up together, helping each other, fighting with and for one another - oh yes, I look forward to it all.
So until we meet, I'll keep her in my heart
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