a Breastfed baby...

I had a few misconceptions about breastfeeding and a breastfed baby.  Or perhaps the misconceptions are just about my daughter.  

• Breastfed babies will not burp as often.  They take in less air so the assumption is that they might not have to burp every time they eat like a formula fed baby.  I get the theory.  However, my little girl could compete with a fraternity burp contest.  She belches like a man.  Every.Single.Time  And if she doesn't get a burp out? Then you better be prepared to suffer the screaming fits that come along later. 
• Breastfed babies don't poop as much as formula fed babies.  I don't recall where I heard this one or why I ever thought that was the case.  I thought wrong.  For the first two months of Charlie's life she would fart/poop every time she ate.  She ate every two hours.  Entering into month three my darling daughter is able to blow out of any diaper brand you attach to her adorable little tush. I've cut her out of two onesies so far in her very short life.  It's amazing. 
• Breastfed babies get more baby chub.  I was expecting baby rolls and I have been sorely disappointed.  Perhaps its her genetics or maybe I just made a bad assumption on this one but my little peanut is just that, a little peanut.  

We are a week and a half away from Charlie turning 3 months old.  And we are still going strong with breastfeeding.  Although she is exclusively fed breast milk the bottle was introduced in week two.  She's  had a pacifier since she was 2 days old.  And, knock on wood, we haven't had any nipple confusion.  

However, now that I've returned to work and Charlie is with my sister all day, she's started to resent the bottle.  She'll eventually eat but when you first give her the bottle she'll choke, gag and use all kinds of antics to avoid.  The bottle aversion literally started in the last week before I returned to work.  Up until then she's had a full day of bottles when the husband and I attended a wedding one month and a concert the next.  She's had a bottle every single morning with her probiotic since she was a month old.   Hopefully it's just a phase.

Charlie 2 Months

I keep an ongoing "Baby Notes" in my notepad app on my cell phone.  When I'm pumping, nursing or just generally have a free brain cell to jot tidbits down about Charlie I try to do so.  So although month one was done in sections, going forward I'm going to use bullet points.

I think these two pictures really emphasize Charlie's changes from month one to two.  

So in Month 2 of Charlie's life...

• She was exclusively fed breast milk and would take bottle or boob without fuss.
• She started holding her head up more and more on her own
• She had her first trip to the beach at 7 weeks.  We went to Ocean City, MD with my mom, dad and brother. 
• She has started to coo and smile.  It wasn't all the time but once she got started, she just didn't stop.  My goodness when this girl gets to talking I'm going to be in trouble. 
• She was diagnosed with reflux and started a powder probiotic mixed with breast milk in the morning daily. Showed vast improvement with the burping and pooping. There was a lot of debate about what I was eating or drinking and how it was affecting her. I avoided dairy completely, tried not to over do the red sauce and wasn't eating anything spicy. 
• When we went to the doctor about the reflux Charlie weighed in at 8 lbs 
• Mommy & Daddy had their first really long day away from baby and went to the Jason Aldean concert.   My sister watched her for us and she was a complete doll for her.  Took the bottle, no biggie. 
• Sleeping 3-4 hours at a time.  Usually getting up around midnight and back up again at 4-5 in the morning to eat.  Still sleeping in her lounger beside our bed.  Emphasis on MY side of the bed.  Daddy somehow manages to sleep through all of this little girls grunts, groans and stretches. She is the noisiest sleeper I've ever encountered.  She's also a blanket sleeper.  She loves a soft blanket up by her face and cuddled down in.  
• In month two Charlie began to get into her 0-3 outfits and mama packed away all the newborn stuff. 

Month Two brought more changes and evolution.  I've seen babies grow up with my nephews and my friends kids but it's still astonishing to me that this is my baby and I'm watching her grow.  In some ways month two was still a point that I felt like I was a long term babysitter and I was just waiting for someone to come pick up this adorable little girl.  I know the majority of parents say how lucky they feel but really, I feel so lucky and blessed. 

Charlie 1 Month

This mama is sooo behind so let's jump right in shall we? 

Month One

Sleep: The first few nights before my milk came in she was up every two hours.  Not long after my milk was in Charlie started sleeping 3-4 hour stretches.  There are even some nights she'll go 6 hours straight.  This month consisted of a lot of sleeping.  Day sleeping, night sleeping.  But that's newborn days right? 

Eating: Month One consisted of every two hours.  When she hit 3 weeks old, she had a few consecutive days that she would nurse every hour for 20 minutes.  If you do the math that means by the time she finished nursing, she burped there was perhaps 20 minutes left to enjoy to myself.  We went through a phase where she refused the left breast.  I mean, screamed bloody hell and acted like I was killing her.  There were a few days (okay, several) that I almost threw in the towel on nursing and went straight to the store for formula.  I wanted to pull my hair out.  Thankfully both the breast preference and the every hour nursing were phases.  We started using a bottle once a day at 2 weeks old and she did great.  There was a little bit of tension when I would try to nurse her so we eliminated the bottle for a little while. 

Wearing: Newborn sizes in both clothes and diapers.  Charlie is long and lean it seems.  I keep waiting for her to get those baby chubs and it doesn't seem to be catching on.  This makes clothes a bit difficult.  She worn newborn sizes all through month one though but there were brands that worked and some that didn't.  

Size: Charlie was born at 6 lbs 7 oz and 19 inches long.  We left the hospital at 6 lbs 4 oz.  She progressively gained weight and her pediatrician was pleased.  Two weeks after she was born she weighed in 7 lbs 6 oz and 20 and half inches long.  

Motherhood Realities

Let's do this bulletin point style shall we? And jumping right in...

• Reality No 1.  Newborn phase may not last as long as you'd like.  As in this dear, sweet baby girl may not nap for 2 hours between feedings.  In fact she may not nap at all during the day as she closes in on two months old.  And mama may want to pull her hair out.  Currently she's still strapped into her car seat asleep.  And I'm crossing my fingers and toes that she stays that way until I can finish my sandwich
• Reality No 2.  Its not that scary.  I thought for sure I'd be up in the middle of the night in panic mode all the time.  I thought I'd be living at my mom's house daily so I wasn't far away from another adults opinion about this spot or that grunt.  But I none of the above as occurred with the exception of the week before she was diagnosed with reflux.  She was miserable.  Screaming rage miserable and I felt so helpless.  I reduced a thousand and one things from my diet and it didn't help.  Both of my nephews and myself had reflux as babies.  So it was a no brainer what was going on with our little miss.  She gets a powder form of a probiotic daily in a bottle.  I can give her an ounce in the bottle and immediately pop her on the boob, little to no fuss. 
• Reality No 3.  Speaking of bottle and boob, I was so worried about introducing the bottle.  Would she like the bottle better than me? Would she deny the boob and I'd be exclusively pumping?  This kid is a rock star.  She takes a bottle, a binkie or the boob.  The only time she gets pissed is if she's hungry right freaking now and we offer the binkie which doesn't give what she wants.  
• Reality No 4.  I'm not ready right this second to go back to work, but I'm ready to go back to work.  I'm mentally okay with returning.  I love this little girl with all my heart but these past few weeks have shown me that I'm not the stay at home mom type.  Her snuggles are great and her coo's are adorable, but I need the adult interaction and the routine that work will provide.  Not to mention just getting out of the house.  It'll be hard none the less but I don't mind that I'm going to be returning in a few weeks.  
• Reality No 5.  That weight will fall off at first.  The pregnancy weight that is.  I went from 183 at my highest back down to 146 at my 6 week check up.  I'm 6 lbs away from where I started at the beginning of the pregnancy.  Not too shabby.  And 3 of those pounds may be residing in my boobs.  
• Reality No 6.  Even though you feel like you sit around all day, nothing gets accomplished.  I wish that I could move and nurse at the same time.  I have done it once, but it's not easy.  I'm extremely heavy chested so a majority of the time I need to hold her with one hand and hold my boob with the other.   

And with that the child starts to awaken...

Charlotte Lynn

June 4th 2014
6 lbs 7 oz
19 inches long

Postpartum

Let's talk postpartum.  As in the hours, days and weeks after you've delivered that precious bundle who steals your sleep and sanity.  I say that with love.  I really do.  
My situation is obviously mine alone, but here are my thoughts. 
After Charlie was born, she nursed and the nurses took her off to be registered I was able to get a shower.  The initial getting off the bed you just labored in is gross.  Absolutely gross.  Because with each movement you make, you gush blood.  It's a period but way worse.  Be prepared to just feel gross.  The shower will help with that and if you have the energy, just stand under that hot spray for as long as possible.  [Insert here Pinterest Lie Number One: Do NOT bring your own towels for yourself.] You will continue to bleed for several weeks but those first few days in the hospital will be the gushing sort.  You'll want those icky, scratchy hospital towels to get blood stains rather than your own.  Do bring a nice towel for the husband.  Seeing as the hospital towels supplied to us were similar to hand towels, my poor 6'5" husband was short changed.  Thankfully I had thought ahead on that one.  

I did pack my own granny underwear and pads just in case the hospital supply was not comfortable.  The first day and night I used the mesh underwear and pads provided.  By the second day the bleeding had slowed and become much more manageable so I switched to my own things and was comfortable.  In my opinion pack 'em and be safe.  Your body just went through some serious trauma, no sense being even more uncomfortable if you don't have to. 

Pinterest tells you to get witch hazel pads and Dermoplast.  Witch hazel pads are amazing. Take those suckers and line them along your pad.  Relief.  I used the Dermoplast once and about lost my mind. I know that every one says to get the BLUE can.  And I emphasize for the love of all things get the damn BLUE can, not the red.  I couldn't find a blue can any where to save my life.  The Dermoplast website said that there wasn't any major differences between the two but they recommended the blue can.  However, all I had was the red. Once was all it took for me to toss that cursed can in the garbage.  Get the BLUE can.  

I am 3 weeks postpartum as of today and my bleeding has finally slowed to a very light period.  In fact the only time I bleed is when I nurse and my uterus contracts.  Oh and on that note, if you're going to nurse, you feel your uterus contracting when you nurse.  Yup.  I knew it did that but I had no idea how very much you could feel it doing that.  

So to sum up my postpartum recommendations
1. Don't bring a towel for yourself.  DO bring a towel for the husband. 
2. Bring those granny panties you don't care if you throw away and your own pads just for your sanity. 
3. Buy a surplus of witch hazel pads and line them along the pad every time you put a new one on. Thank me later
4. Buy the BLUE can of Dermoplast.  BLUE CAN. 
5. Uterus contractions.  Ibuprofen every 4-6 hours.  Do it.  
6. Not mentioned above but walk every so often.  Keep those muscles from cramping up.  Trust me, they cramp up. 
7. Also not mentioned above, but note worthy, take a stool softener daily.  Trust me.  And start the day you give birth.  

Charlie's Birth Story

On Tuesday June 3rd I was sent home with instructions to return that Friday for another NST. It would have been my 7th.  Through the beginning half of the pregnancy my mom and I had planned to start making trips to the maternity ward via both the main entrance and the ER entrance after each OB appointment so that we had a fairly good idea of where to go.  That planning was carried out just not in the way we thought.  With so many NST under our belts we felt like a couple of regulars and go to know the nurses in Triage pretty well.

Tuesday night was spent at home, relaxing with my husband as best as we could.  I decided for the first time in weeks I was going to sleep in the bed.  I wasn't as swelled as I had been and that had been my main reason for sleeping on the couch, in order to keep my feet propped. I didn't have my normal period like contractions.  There was nothing out of the ordinary.  The next morning I got up with the husband at 6 and went to pee.  I did my business and as I was walking back out of the bathroom suddenly felt wet again.  Like I had peed myself.  Back to the bathroom I go, feeling less than awesome at the prospect of peeing myself.  Again, after finishing up, I go to stand up and it happened again.  I sent my husband to work regardless because I honestly didn't think it was my water breaking.  It was such small amounts.  There was no big gush, no continuous flow.  I continued to leak for another hour.  At 7 I decided I better get a shower because if this was indeed my water I wanted my hair to be washed.  I showered, called my mom and told her to get her shower.  This was at 7:35.  At this point I was starting to cramp.  Similar to the cramping I had been having for the past two weeks.  They continued to intensify.  I paced in my bathroom and counted when the worst ones hit.  At 7:46 I called my husband and told him he better head home. I called my mom back at 8 and told her what was going on.  She mentioned she needed to dry her hair and I told her to do what she needed to do.   At this point I'm still in denial.  The contractions are coming pretty close together.  It felt like one had just mellowed out when it would start to rise and peak again. By 8:35 I was downstairs with my bag and Charlie's.  I called my mom repeatedly to get her to hurry and made the call to my husband that he needed to meet us at the hospital.  Contractions were intense.  So incredibly painful.  But still period type cramping.  It was all very low type pain.  My belly didn't get rock hard like I was told to look for.  I had no pain going along the top of my belly and seizing up my entire belly.  Rather it was all really low, low pain.  I put the dogs in their cages and stood in our downstairs bathroom and ran cold water over my hands.  Bending over with the high peaks of each contraction seemed the best option.  I screamed and was completely vocal.  I figured what the hell, I'm home alone anyways.  My poor dogs were traumatized by the experience and I feel so bad.  Also at this point I am having the incredible urge to poop.  Note to all those - DO NOT TRY TO POOP.  Thankfully I was pretty aware that this was bad considering I was still in my house and a 40 minute drive away from my hospital.  My mom got there I would guess around 8:40ish.  It took us a little while to get me in the car because I was contracting about every 2 minutes.  I didn't realize this until I was in the car and able to just stare at the clock as the waves of pain hit.  I can remember that I couldn't sit back and I couldn't sit on my butt at all.  I turned my body to the side and held on to the "oh shit" handle at the roof above the door.  Ya know that breathing technique that everyone in the movies uses when in labor?  Do it.  No joke.  For whatever reason it helped immensely to focus on puffing out air when those high peaks hit.  My mom drove 85 mph down the highway to get us to our destination.  With each low point I was tell her to watch her speed and that everything was fine.  When the high peaks hit I was begging her to let me poop and I swear I'd clean it up when this was all over.  I knew I couldn't poop or push but I will secretly admit there may have been a time or two my body just did it without my control.   We arrived at the hospital at 9:29 according to my mom's car clock.  She pulled into the valet parking, jumped out of the car, leaving it still running and her door hanging open, yelling at the attendants that we were in labor.  Lucky for us, I was at a high peak as we came rushing into the valet and one of the attendants had already rushed inside to get me a wheelchair.  An adorable older and very scrawny looking older woman came over to assist us getting up to maternity.  She was rushing with all her little body had.  I was at a low here and told her it was all going to be fine, she didn't have to over tax herself.  I apologized for being too heavy.  She was incredibly sweet and she went flying up the hallway towards maternity and rushed me through.  As we wheeled up to the nurses station they all seemed to be standing around very calm.  I could feel another contraction rising up and quickly mentioned that I had been 4 cm dilated on Monday and I was in intense pain.  My mom tells me I apologized several times here too.  I distinctly remember seeing a girl I went to school with and tried to have small talk but another contraction hit and I was wheeled in a labor and delivery room.

Things begin to get blurry here.  I remember several nurses.  I know that there was a nice, petite woman who introduced herself as Patty and my mom and I were so excited to actually meet her.  Her name had been mentioned several times over my NST trips but we had never met.  She was the Midwife that worked the maternity ward Monday through Friday.  She was the midwife who delivered my little girl and God bless that woman.  Another contraction hit as we were trying to get me undressed.  I vaguely remember asking for my epidural and Patty said she'd like to check me and see where I'm at first.  Fine, no problem, I was helped out of my shorts and underwear and told to lie back on the bed.  I did the best I could but quite frankly that position sucked and I really didn't want to.  When Patty checked me, I remember looking at her face as her eyes got serious and she nodded to the nurses.  A secret code I guess.  Her words to me were "when you feel that urge to poop again, you go ahead and push."  I hadn't remembered telling her that I wanted to poop, but I must have.  Quickly I was pushed back to lay down on the bed and stir ups were brought out.  I asked about any type of pain medication and I was informed that the baby was right there.  I wouldn't be getting anything.  Another contraction hit and I feebly pushed.  I know I slacked on that first one.  I was terrified.  No pain meds? Nothing??? I know I had said if I could I would try to but damnit at this point I couldn't.  I was in immense pain and I did NOT want to do this natural.  I also noticed the mirror that folds out from the ceiling.  I asked that it be put away and everyone questioned if I was sure to which I became adamant that the mirror needed to GO.  With the next contraction Patty encouraged me and said it would be over so quickly if I just gave it my best.  So I pushed.  The nurses kept trying to get me to hold my own legs up to my chest and that wasn't what I wanted to do at all.  At some point when Charlie was crowning when my husband got there and walked into the room.  He got to see that.  The man who didn't want to be in the room at all got to see all the glory.  But he did so good.  He came up by my head and I held his index finger, squeezing with everything I had as I pushed.  Patty at some point gave me two numbing shots.  She apologized for the pinch I would feel and I think I may have laughed at her or said she was crazy if she thought I cared about any pinch at this point.  The nurse to my left tried to put an IV in my hand to get me some fluids but that was forgotten.  Patty also was awesome and continued to use something that was really cold feeling as Charlie crowned to help with any tearing.  There was definitely the ring of fire as they call it.  In some ways, it was better because I knew if I could get past that ring, push through that pain, the rest was way easier.  And its so true.  Once you push out the head, the rest of the body seems to just gush out.  I felt so dirty to be honest because it was a big gush.  Ew.  They put her up on my chest and I remember stating, my gosh there's really a baby.  I think in some ways I have been distant during the pregnancy.  I wasn't able to totally emotionally connect to Charlie because that just isn't the type of person I am.  But there she was, squishy and screaming on my chest.  Patty asked Steve to cut the cord and he refused, telling her to let Grandma get that option.  He kept kissing my head and telling me how awesome I did.  They took her away to get weighed and checked out.  At this point Steve went with her while Patty continued to help me birth the placenta.  The pain does not stop when the baby exits.  The placenta wasn't brutal but it was definitely uncomfortable.   As was when Patty was cleaning me up and checking for any tears.  I didn't need any stitches.  Thanks to that wonder woman of a midwife.

Things are blurry and my sense of time is completely out of whack.  I know that they brought her back over to do skin to skin and thats' when I went through the registration process.  Steve signed a bunch of papers etc.  Odd.  Doing it all AFTER the baby has arrived but the little lady was not waiting.  They asked if I wanted to breastfeed and if I had taken any classes.  They all got a chuckle when I mentioned I had intended to go to the class being offered the following night.  The nurse, Amy I think was her name helped me get a latch and how to hold the breast etc.  She has 4 kids herself and breastfed all 4.  She was the nurse that stayed with me for the duration and I absolutely loved her.

Steve had called his mom and she arrived not long after Charlie was born.  In fact she was walking into the maternity ward when the nursery rhyme went off which indicates a birth.  So after I was cleaned up, everyone got to pass her around while the staff got a room ready for me.  I had sent the entire system into backward motion.  I was honestly so relaxed and content at that point.  There was relief that it was over and it hadn't taken several hours.  Joy that she was here.  Pure amazement and gratitude for my mom and for my husband.  Even then though I don't think it completely hit me how close we had been to having a baby on a main highway.  I mean.. one traffic light too many and I'm not sure how this story would have gone.

Patty mentioned that if there is a next pregnancy I will need to have my cervix length measured at 20 weeks and up to ensure that isn't the reason I delivered so fast.  A shortened cervix can cause preterm labor.  Oh and I also had to provide a pee sample to ensure that I wasn't on drugs.  Everyone was apologetic about it but I could've cared less.

So in conclusion, Charlotte Lynn was born June 4th at 9:40 am after mom pushed for a measly, excruciating 10 minutes.  She weighed in at 6lbs and 7 oz and was 19inches long.  And my gosh are we so very blessed to have her in our lives.